I’m scared of lions

by Héloïse Faure

“I’m scared of lions”, Bijou said. They are everywhere. They are not even hiding. (…)

Berlin, 20th november 2015

“I’m scared of lions”, Bijou said.

They are everywhere.
They are not even hiding.

Mostly, these lions are in his dreams. Dreams that turn into nightmares.
I imagine Bijou waking up after a fight with one of them.
He’s exhausted.
He probably lost the fight, got scratched, got injured, bitten, torn to pieces. No wonder he can barely talk. He must be out of breath. No wonder he can’t look at anything but his knees.
After such a fight, it takes more than just one breath to look anyone in the face.

There is blood on one of his knees, and only he can see.
That’s when the Lion took him by surprise.
Bijou tried to step back, but the second he realised the Lion had entered his dream, it was too late. Its claws had perforated his skin already. It wasn’t even painful, the pain only came after. I mean, after he woke up.
But it was disconcerting, and that was enough for Bijou to lose faith.

I’m sitting here in front of him. On the breakfast table, a kaki and a banana are trying to cheer us up. They are sliced into very thin pieces (Bijou just sliced them, and I have to say it was enjoyable to watch him hold the little black knife and slice the fruits so meticulously).
The fruits look good and healthy in their colourful plate.
We look good and healthy in our colourful pyjamas.
But it would take more than just 2 fruits to cheer us up.

Bijou is tired. He’s closing his eyes.

His striped pyjamas make him look like half a prisoner, half a sailor. I can’t decide which I love the most.

The Lion is still around. He’s not even tired. It would take more than just a little nightmare to tire him. Actually, what was a nightmare for Bijou was just routine for the Lion.

His dishevelled hair falls onto his face in an organised mess.
For a second it makes him look like the one he fears.
For a second, and for a second only, he’s one of them.
The Lions would fear him too, if only Bijou could feel and show his own strength.
I can feel it, I can feel his strength, but it would take more than just me to make his fear fade away.

No matter how much wind, no matter how many fights or nights of love, a man’s mane will never compare to a Lion’s.

Now, I see them too. The Lions. I see them everywhere.
I’m not scared. I see them as images, they surprise me, that’s it.
I notice them more than before. It’s always like this when you care for someone.

I’m surrounded by them now. I look at them straight in the eyes.
I look at them and think of Bijou.

“They are my only fear”, he said.
Then, I must be a Lion.

More photos http://www.heloisefaure.com/I-m-scared-of-lions