66 Day Challenge — One Third Done

25 Days ago I felt the urge to start and put content out there. I have grown & experienced so much in the past years that for sure there will be value in what I have to share. Yes, it might not be perfect, but when will it ever be? So in a growth mindset way, agile approach and entrepreneurial spirit I jumped into the 66 Day challenge.

Nothing is fixed in this 66 Days, the main focus is to answer one question:

“What is trying to emerge in this moment?”

My first blog post started this way:

This 66 Day Challenge I give myself, to step up my game. It is a commitment to do better, to do what I know I have in me. Changing Habits, with a focus on my morning and evening routine. 66 Days to get my business off the ground as a freelancer, as Trainer, Coach & Facilitator. And whatever will emerge in the process. 66 Days of documenting this process.

I wrote for “why” I start the challenge:

Because I am tired of living in medeocricy. I am tired of the excuses I am giving myself. I am tired of my inaction.

I am not good enough, yet.
I am not motivated, yet.
I am not ready, yet.

When am I? Today. Because I decided I am.
I want to make a difference in this world. I want to be a role model. I want to achieve my life vision. I want to make the world a better place. Big dreams? F*ck yeah! I will figure it out. There are so many amazing people out there doing awesome work changing the world, I know I can contribute with the skills I gained in the past years and will continue to gain in the years to come.

I set these three areas of focus:

1.) Changing habits — focus on morning & evening routine

2.) Get to work — start my freelancing business (and whatever emerges in the process)

3.) Document & share insights — I document this path on Instagram and start writing posts here (later also on my website)

So what have I done so far?

Changing habits

Morning Routine
I woke up for 8 Days at 5 am everyday and relized that 5 am does not fit my reality and changed it to 6 am. After that I went for a run everyday (with one exeption, because I had to catch a flight and did tabata instead). I meditated everyday. Started with the 6 Phase Youtube version and am now back to the updated version I used 2 years ago. After that I started with jounralling, which I shifted to doing a Mindvalley Quest now. After that I focus on the most important thing for the day.

Review: I am on track and love the process. It gets hard sometimes, but that is fine.

Evening Routine
I journal, then I read and then I put on the headspace sleep mediation. This is my biggest challenge, I often fall back to watching youtube videos or a TV Show. My trigger here is having my laptop and phone in my bed. I am working now on eliminating that trigger. Changing books also makes this difficult. Since I changed location to Hamburg I fell back into my old routine as well. I am aware of this and focus on tackeling this. The meditation is the only routine I kept up 100% and it has an amzing affect on my sleep.

Review: I knew from the start that this will be the biggest challenge. The better the morning works the higher the pressure and motivation to get the evening done right. So I am trusting the process. Once I get present about the old automatic rountine in the evening I switch with ease to the new one. I am figuring it out.

Get to work

I researched a lot. I signed up for ProcjectTogether and prepared a bunch of little projects. At my coaching certification I gave a real life coaching which showed me that I am ready to go out into the world. Besides preparing a lot, not much happend. I mainly focused on executing the Challenge.

Review: Most of my energy went into the habits & the challenge, which is great. I got a lot of preperation work done and in my time in Hamburg meeting friends & family is fuling me with energy. I feel that phase two of the challenge will be more execution here.

Document & share insights

BÄM! I am on fire when it comes to this. My marketing mind would love to track more, to do more bla, bla, bla. I am on execution mode, no excuses and simply do. I have not missed a single day for the Blog, Instagram and Facebook. I got some very nice feedback and feel I am on track. I shifted to write the post during the day in Hamburg, simply because I had & have very early appointments and full days. I figured it out and it works. The idea of a podcast comes to my mind over and over again. But it does not fit this format and I will start something new in the coming month with that idea.

Review: This is going well, there are some small adjustment with Hashtages, trackable links etc. I want to do. I see what comes up with Instagram and will play more with it. I trust the process here and will see what emerges.

Overall Review: I am on track and am doing well. The biggest learning and impact did not happen here. It happend inside. Let me share the main thing that emerged.

Here is what I have realized

I started reading “The Power of now” by Exchart Toller.
and listening to “Conversations with God Part One” By Neil Donald Walsch, 5 days ago. Both books fall under the “Spirutial” Aspect of life.

My guiding question “What is trying to emerge in this moment?” is focusing myself to be present. Being present and in the now is super powerful and practining presence has led me to a super powerful realization.

I am not my thoughts.
I am not my emotions.
I am not my actions.

I am.

Thinking, feeling and doing is the way I experience life. What holds me back the most is being identified with any of the three.

I was lacking in my spiritual practice. That was what was holding me back the most. Investing in it has & had the biggest impact on all other areas of my life.

I trust the process of life.

Through this practice emerged two things that are holding me back the most currently:

1. I made “Being Smart” part of my identy. — Overthinking
2. My “If.. then” Beliefs — my maturity

The amazing thing is that both desepear once I get self-aware of them and practice presence.

Being Smart as Identify

Once we identify ourself with thoughts, emotions and actions we limit our capacity to be. Thinking, feeling and acting is how we experience life and that is beautiful. Being able to think well, to feel well and act well are all practices that enrich our human experience. The challenge in life is to let go of all three as our identity. Using them enriches our experience of life. Thats why most peoples experience of life is limiting. If you are not aware of your thoughts, not in touch with your emotions and disconnected from your body you limit your potential to experience life.
The end goal of the soul is to experience life and you know if you limit yourself. Without the possibility to limit yourself, there could not be the other side. We need both sides on the level of experience. Good & Bad, Love & fear, Happiness & sadness and so on.
Behind that is the soul. The soul simply is. Once you are present you are. In that state you can observe lifes experiences from a place of bliss & flow. Everything is easy from here.
Since I identify with “Being Smart” does this lead to my mind to think all the time. Instead of me using my mind to think when it helps me, my mind thinks & overthinks. That stops me to move into action. Realizing that inaction leads to feelings of guilt, anger and even shame. Which is beautiful, because that is my current experience of life.
At the moment I become present I realize this and can let go. I can choose when to think and when to stop. I let go of my mind as my identity.
I am still figuring this out. What I know is that this makes me unbelivalbly happy and filled with love. I was able to do this in my coaching, during my meetings with my friends & family and during everyday activites. It is amazing and I am still processing this. What I know is that in those moments I move with ease and bliss. I am in flow.

My Maturity

Mark Manson describes were I am at as the second level of maturity. The first level is an even more simple way of living life. We want something we act.
As children we want to pee, we pee. We want to eat, we eat (and if we do not get food we screem). That is why children touch hot stoofs and do a bunch of other stupid shit. Step by step we learn. We learn that if we pee ourselves, we have wet pants and that is something our parents do not like and it is inconvieneint. We create a value hearachie. We value our parents and convinience more when simply peeing when ever we want. We learn if we pee on the toilet, we are happy and our parents are happy. Step by step we deveop principles this way. If I act honestly with my parent’s life is easier in the long run. If I love my girlfriend, she loves me back. If I am nice to people they are nice to me. Some people develop shitty If .. then structures. If I hurt someone and they take it, they love me. (I shared that in a video about beliefs). Parents & sociaty teach us these principles.
The third level of maturity is that we simply act based on the principle for the principle sake.
We love for love’s sake
We are nice for nicness sake
We are honest for honesties sake

This is were I am stuck. I identified a couple of “If … then” beliefs that hold me back and result in a more painful life.
“If I know something, I am worth something.”
“If I bring value to a person, I will be loved.”

These two combined are quite toxic. If I feel like I am not contributing to someone, I feel like I am not loved. If I feel I do not know something, I feel like I am not worth anything. WOW, right. I know this is stupid, but this is the program that runs me sometimes, it is a thought habit. That is the map my thinking brain uses to navigate life. My aim is to move to “I love for love sake” & “I am worth, simply because I am”.

This is a process. Thanks to the last 25 Days I became aware if this. By being present I interrupt my habit of thought and action and can start to implement the new habit of thinking, acting and feeling.

I am grateful that I am moving forward with my rountines in the morning and evening, I am grateful that I am getting more clear regarding my career and that I am documenting this process.
This change of presence and spirutal practice is the most powerful shift of all. It led me to trust the process of life. To be happy in the now. To love my friends & family for love sake and to need nothing in return. Because I am enough. I am.

I am curious and bewildered by this process.
Lets see what will emerge in the next phase of the 66 Day Challenge.

I love to hear your thoughts & ideas, write in the comments or contact me. Remember, you are enough, you are loved, you are powerful! I believe in you and send you a smile & love for your process!