Happiness — it is a practice

I find myself again and again in this state of bliss. This makes me immensely grateful for the people in my life, the environments I spend time in and the work that I have. I am happy. There were times and for sure there will be times again where I will not be happy. I feel more and more prepared for those times. I read a couple of books and did some classes around the topic of happiness. Step by step did I implement a lot of the strategies in my life and I am certain they are the reason for my current bliss. So today I felt like sharing some insights into the topic.

The benefits of happiness

In his brilliant book “The happiness advantage” Shawn Achor describes his research regarding happiness and shares some tricks. Happiness as a couple of benefits. A study of nuns showed that the happy nuns lived longer, a study of sells people showed that happy once sold better, and one of my favorites once, doctors who got a lollipop before interviewing patience were better at diagnosing them. Happiness is pretty badass. It is a secret weapon and a hardcore advantage. The cool side effect is life in bliss.

The opposite of Happiness

For years I thought the opposite of happiness was sadness, anger or fear. But they are not, the opposite is hopelessness. Mark Manson illustrates this beautifully in his new book “Every Thing is F*cked A Book About Hope”. The hard truth about life is that in comparison to the vast realm of space all our lives are meaningless. We create the meaning in our life, our brain is wired this way and there is no way around it. Meaning gives us Hope for a better future and that, in essence, is what happiness is. The joy and bliss of the now while having hope it will stay this way or get better. If you are hopeless you are deprived of meaning in your life. You are num. We face a meaning crisis in the developed world. We covered all the basic shit we need and now we have too much to lose and too little to hope for. Mark sums this up beautifully in one sentence “the wealthier and safer the place you live, the more likely you are to commit suicide.”. If you are hopeless you get depressed and live a life in suffering. So let’s try to avoid this

How to be happy

There is a big misconception around happiness. Happiness is not an end, it is the way. “The pursuit of happiness” is one of the most outdated sentences ever. You do not get happy once you retire. You can be happy whenever you want if you decide to. The challenge by striving for happiness is the so-called “Happiness Set Point”, you have baseline happiness you return to after a while. If you end up in a wheelchair for the rest of your life and are first in suffering about it or you win the lottery, does not matter, studies show you end up back at you happiness set point after a couple of months. Lottery winners are even more likely to get depressed and commit suicide (as Mark said so brilliantly). We learn to deal with our reality and adjust, the new becomes normal. There are some tricks that keep you above your baseline consistently. Happiness is a practice. Here are some things I do.

Gratitude
This is shown to have the highest correlation to a happy life. If you speak it if you write it down or simply remind yourself of the things you are grateful of once a day. Practicing gratitude reminds you of all the things you have. Taking that perspective makes you happy and primes your brain to stay that way.

Forgiveness
This has all kinds of benefits. When it comes to happiness the essence is that you let go of the negativity you hold towards others. You do not pardon their actions, you simply let go of the anger, sadness, and fear you hold inside. This way you gain control over your own life again and are not attached to someone else in a negative way. Less negativity leads you to more positivity in your life.

Love yourself
This is a big one. I tell myself I love myself every time I look in the mirror. This is NOT narcissistic. This is an empathetic, compassionate look into your own eyes and you say from your heart that you love the person you are. A phrase that helped me here as well as “I am enough” because I am enough the way I am. If you go through my journals you will find this phrase more often then any other.

Turning Problems into Projects
If you have a problem there is always an unanswered question behind it. Finding an answer to the question is a beautiful project. This switches you out of a fixed mindset into a growth mindset. You start looking for solutions rather than digging yourself into a hole.

Find your Why
We create the meaning in our life. Everyone who does not need to worry about the basic shit in life should ask themselves how they can contribute to the world the best way. What do you care about? Why do you get up every morning? If you do not know, start exploring topics. A great way to start is to look at the Sustainable Development Goals of the UN. There you have a list of global challenges that need solutions. You can be part of that solution if you decide to.

Live your Values
Get clear on your values and start upholding them. My core values currently are love, courage & faith. I aim to base everything I do from love, step into the world with courage and to have faith that I figure out a way. I also value curiosity, friendship, honesty, respect, and wholeheartedness. I dove deep into these words and observed my own behavior and what I cared about. Then I decided what I want to focus on the most to create the life I want to live.

Inner Cycle
Find a handful of people you trust. Your inner cycle, people who accept you the way you are and you accept them the way they are. Share your deepest fears & joys. Be vulnerable with them and share your imperfection. Once you did it with them you can be wholeheartedly in the outside world as well. Trust me being your imperfect self in public is a feeling that goes beyond happiness. Total inner peace.

Community
Find people who care about the same shit you do. That want to solve the challenges you want to solve. Together you are strong and working on something meaningful together is no longer work, it is play & joy. Failure and challenges become stepping stones for a better solution.

I could go on. These are the basics of what I started implementing in my life. I struggle now and then. This was a process and it continues to be one. I hade times of hopelessness and darkness. I got myself out of them and embraced my family & friends with trust & love. Changing my own perspective and starting practicing these things is getting me more and more in a constant state of bliss & flow. I am happy.

I hope this helped you with your process. What are you doing to practice happiness in your life? What challenges are you facing? Let me know in the comments. Have a beautiful day!