Love Is Overrated

Writer
Writer
Aug 28, 2017 · 2 min read

I want to talk about the phase between a break-up and finding new love. That confused, empty phase that is excruciating, painful and full of self-loathing.

One one end you are trying to get over someone. You have deleted the messages, deleted the contact, the photographs, the memories. There are days when you don’t think about them and then there are days when they hover in your mind like a painful reminder of how lonely you are.

I understand the whole love yourself and treat yourself philosophies. But if I have to be real, being alone when everyone else is living their fairytale kind of sucks. When you have a partner, the person standing in front of the mirror automatically becomes beautiful, ambitious and interesting. You are your best version. Remember that tiny voice in your head that constantly devalues you? Yes, that is sitting on the back shelf, muted. After you’re dumped, that same tiny voice makes its grand come-back telling you how ugly and uninteresting you are. That your thoughts are lame and your body is not perfect and you are just another average person who doesn’t deserve love and affection.

It is this exact time period when everyone except you is getting attention. You have people coming up to you asking you numbers of your friends — not yours, your friend’s. You are so single that your phone’s battery is always at 100 percent and the only people who call you are your work mates and your mother. That’s depressing.

You keep going back to your ex’s social profiles, looking at their old photos and feeling shitty about how much you miss that. You miss the old times and it really makes you wonder if you’ll ever experience that again.

Of course, there are people you talk to. People who could be potential prospects. The only problem, after two to three days of good conversations, these people retract and slowly stop talking making you feel uninteresting and boring. Or their requests are purely sexual which feels horrible too.

Your fantasies of your ex one day texting you about how much they miss you and how they want to give it a shot never happens. Nor does another magical person appear who is willing to fill that hole. Read as many heartbreak quotes as you want. Feel better by watching Samantha in Sex and The City, but the reality is, this phase sucks. It’s lonely, depressing and filled with self-hatred. Somehow everything is your life at this moment is a mess. And I wish I had some wise words to say to make this better, but I don’t. So I will end this rant here.

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