…but is it worth a war?
Yesterday was crazy.
My parents moving vehicle showed up and all of the contents of my house merged with all the boxes/furniture from their house. My dad finally got his lift chair and bed, mom found my late brother’s memorabilia and I saw my mom-ma’s bacon press and cobbler pan for the first time in years. My children pitched in all day, with no prompting, out of unadulterated love for their Grandmom and Poppa. It was a day of beautiful chaos.

Our kitchen was a wreck and there was no way anyone could have chosen to try and cook to feed my very large family. We ordered in and the food just arrived when I got a text message from someone in my distant past.
I wish I had not been reactive. If I could go back, and have a do over, I would have just been disconnected and allowed whatever was being said to me to not worm into my emotional space. I would have just stopped responding and allowed it to fizzle. But having clay feet, unfortunately, I’m going to sometimes be irritated. Sometimes I’m going to voice to text because my fingers are shaking so hard I can’t type. If my human words can be used against me, they will. And I had words for this person. Frustration at the situation. This person gets to me in a way no other ever has. My buttons are pushed and my hot headed Irish temper flares. I am not denying my role. I played the long standing game that we both know so well.
Anyone remember the 80’s movie War Games? Here’s the synopsis to catch you up to speed: Matthew Broderick is a computer nerd obsessed with new video games. He accidentally hacks into the Dept. of Defense wargames computer and starts a game called “Global Thermonuclear War.” The computer thinks that this is real and begins to escalate to the point of launching missiles at Russia. MB has to find the computer’s original programmer ( played by the British guy) to help him convince the military that they can stop the computer from starting nuclear war with Russia. Now watch this:
So what was the hubbub about with a former friend that got me thinking about this stuff? After a few texts (lashing back and forth about how I carried the responsibility for something that I believe I no longer need to be responsible for), I was explaining to someone how I’d heard, they personally had chosen and influenced (by their vocal inability to attend) a memorial service that was conflicting with something I’d had on the calendar for over a year. My words were judged and judged and judged again.
The best part of the conversation went something like, “We so clearly understood what you meant that we are saving it to remember the absurdity of the occasion.”
That’s from a fellow Christ follower.
A person who shares the love of Christ in their heart.
I don’t question whether or not they are a Christ follower. I just know that if I were anyone else on the planet, there would have been truck loads of grace. But instead, they are going to keep one text for fodder.
So they can laugh.
Again.
And Again.
And Again.
I called this person out for making a FB post about me. The person offered to send me an original of their self-made meme since I thought it applied to me. I said “I’d rather be a liar than a narcissist. That person implied I was both. This person has always been so good at making me question myself. Neither of us won but this person is always so good at leaving me feeling ripped to shreds.
I spoke with three friends about last night this morning. I just couldn’t settle my spirit from yesterday. My friends give GREAT advice SO…I’m writing this blog entry for those of you who might be going or have gone through somewhat of a similar situation. Those of who don’t have a solid set of folks in your life who can look at screenshots of conversations and give you Godly advice. Those of you who don’t want to splay your life open, the good and the bad, for others to see.
One friend, (name withheld), who also knows the person who texted me, who saw every word of the screenshots, told me “regardless of how someone feels you act/react — at the end of the day, people set their own tone. If they act in a way to you they would not want anyone else to see? THAT is living in the dark.” Now, I don’t know if the person who texted me is aware that they are out of bounds and unChrist-like. The person has LOADS of people in their ear who don’t really like me either. I’m completely okay with that. Most of the time, when I find myself in a word battle with them, because of such a long history, I’m unable to disengage and I play. I have to get to the point where I do not play the game. I have to get to the point where I realize if I play, there will be no winner.
A friend who goes all the way back to Jr. High school, Mark, messaged me this morning with this: “Jason’s message today about joy was that it is… 1) supernatural…only get it from God; 2) usually found in the wilderness, at the times when things are at their worst; 3) a direct result of our relationship with Christ.”
Mark went on to tell me it was based on Psalm 126, which says that what we sow in tears is reaped in abundant harvest. Jesus wants you to treat this person like one of his kids. What they do is their business, not yours. But what you do should be for HIS glory. Don’t sit around licking your wounds. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Mark said…
“Let it go.”
Followed up by my friend Sarah who put this on her Instagram after her morning worship service. The words below the photo are from her pastor. “We should seek to honor Him in our lives by our actions because we are ambassadors to the Living God. The way we react to situations the world throws at us speaks to our relationship with Him. Grace should flow through us.”

So here’s the BIG question: How can we claim to have Christ IN us, working THROUGH us and toss around darkness and mean spiritedness when we interact with another person? Christ follower or not, friend or foe, our job is to show Christ ALL. THE. TIME. *Waving-My-Hand-Guilty* I know there are others who find themselves in the same trap.
Let’s be encouragers.
Let’s pray for each other.
For me, I’m going to strive to not participate. I’m going to pray before I ever respond to that text. I’m going to strive to keep my mouth (and fingers) from saying things that poke another person’s hot buttons. You can’t win if you play.
Don’t play.
This song is everything:
