I understand your fear. I avoided getting a pet in my adult life because the pain of losing my childhood dog was too great.
And then a cat wandered into my life this year.
And I love her. And I curse every moment knowing that one day I will have to part with her. Losing a pet seems unbearable.
But the trade off is worth it, at least I keep telling myself.
No matter what happens, you will be ok.
In the meantime, I’m sending all my positive and warm thoughts to you and Pongo.