Not a finisher

Someone I had a HUGE crush on in college once said I just wasn’t a finisher. It hurt, but he was right. 6 years later, he is still right. — I do not fall into feeling the whole “I suck” thing. I understand and appreciate my self worth. I just have very real issues focusing. The struggle is real.

I started this medium account a couple of months ago. I was excited at first, but quickly posts piled in the drafts box, while I continuously re-edited already published posts. 
I should have just LET IT GO – its an anonymous blog anyways with 3 followers (at the time). Big woop if your grammar stinks and your thoughts are redundant af. Its supposed to be practice, you were supposed to stick to it. Now I am back… I really wish I had continued. the true purpose of this really is not just to exercise being a finisher. 
I want to track the effects/benefits of being on antidepressants. But I am such a non-finisher, that I can’t even consistently take my meds for more than two weeks.

I have now been taking them almost every day for 3 weeks. (yay) Let’s see how it goes. I don’t feel a real difference, but its hard to tell sometimes how much of how shitty I feel is my brain imbalance and how much of it is real life. So I will start over, start tracking my thoughts in the morning and evening so we can know how the meds are working out.

I am not a finisher. but I will spend the rest of my life trying to change that if I have to. ADHD meds help sometimes. But sometimes they just make me feel happy for no reason, excited about house chores and getting rid of clutter… as far as work goes, it tends to backfire, making me feel very creative to paint, create art, or brainstorm personal projects, certainly not to get my work done.

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