Is the Holdeman Church Responsible for Abuse Among its Members?
“These things happen everywhere.” “You can’t blame that on the church.” “Abuse is less common within the church than outside it.” This sort of response is typical when discussing cases of abuse among members of the Holdeman church, Church of God in Christ Mennonite. Is it true that the church is not responsible for the abuse?
In Holdeman congregations, every aspect of a person’s behavior is either approved or dictated by the church. Every aspect of members’ lives are scrutinized and judged to be acceptable or unacceptable by church leaders and by fellow church members. Nothing is off-limits. Hairstyles, fashion choices, hobbies, education, healthcare choices, personal finances, recreational activities, vacations, music, home decor, friend groups, and every other part of Holdeman people’s lives are carefully monitored and adjusted by church pressure from the time they are infants. People who grew up in the church have been shaped by its all-encompassing influence. The church is happy to accept responsibility for the more positive traits this influence creates in its members. Holdeman people are widely viewed as friendly, helpful, and kind people, and they take great pride in sharing stories of times when their secular neighbors complemented them on these characteristics. However, the church’s culture is more complex than just the beautiful clichés. Careful examination uncovers an extraordinary number of survivors of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse among the church’s members and former members. I believe that several institutional and cultural influences work together to create an environment where abusers are seldom held accountable.
See Also: Holdeman Church Leaders Debated Secular Counseling, Ministers Meeting Minutes Show
The first factor is that the church embraces a sort of radical forgiveness which shifts blame for hurts onto those who were harmed. Church members have been taught from a young age that people who are affected by emotional trauma “got offended”, (Offendedness is a grave sin within the Holdeman church.) a shifting of the verb tenses which would be bizarre in any other scenario. For example, claiming that a homeless person got himself hit by my truck would sound ridiculous. This creates an environment where survivors of abuse cannot speak openly about their experiences, and a culture where abuses are not discussed openly quickly becomes a culture where abusers can flourish. If no one is allowed to say that the problem exists, what steps can possibly be taken to fix it. If the abuse is not the church’s fault, perhaps the environment of silence is.
A second factor is that protecting victims of abuse can require allowing spouses and children to live separately from an abuser, which can destroy the illusion that Holdeman homes are happy homes. Church leaders sometimes prioritize this illusion over the safety of women and children under their care. In one recent example, sources say a long-time member of the church refused to get medical care for a mental disorder. This disorder led him to become physically violent with his wife and children. The issue came to a climax one day when, in front of his children, he began choking his wife. As her face began to change color due to suffocation, their daughter had to knock her father unconscious with a frying pan. His family moved out of the house for their own safety. According to sources, soon the local church staff began pressuring them to move back in with him, citing scriptures on the sanctity of marriage and submission to one’s husband. At a members-only meeting, they are said to have implied that the victim of the abuse had a “condition” and should recieve church punishment. Thankfully, courageous church members intervened on her behalf. I speculate that in this case, protecting the illusion of happy families and, by extension, public perception of the church, was more important to church leaders than protecting vulnerable women and children. If the abuse is not the church’s fault, perhaps failing to put safety before reputation is.
See Also: Opinion - Holdeman Mennonites — Wholesome Simplicity or Twisted Cult?
A third contributing factor, especially regarding sexual abuse within Holdeman congregations, is an extraordinary lack of education. The church identified that allowing children to receive a well-rounded education was a threat to the institution’s existence in the mid-1900s. Since then, they have run their own schools where they carefully censor books and hide information from children in their care. Their curriculums exclude all education on the topics of sex and human psychology, which has created, over the years, thousands of young people who do not understand the natural sexual emotions their bodies feel, and who do not understand the immense psychological harm caused by unwanted sexual contact. In a pre-sentencing report from a case where a church member had sexually abused a minor for years, authorities wrote that he seemed not to understand the harm his actions had caused. Compounding the harm from the lack of education around human sexuality is the fact that many church leaders seem to view professional counselling as a threat, and people dealing with emotional challenges are sometimes discouraged from seeking out help from mental health professionals. If the church is not responsible for the abuse, perhaps they are responsible for withholding education from young people in a way that contributes to the issue.
Read Next: Holdeman Mennonite Leaders Agree With the Taliban on Education: Opinion
Finally, the church has historically allowed extraordinarily harmful ideas to be circulated via its official publication, The Messenger of Truth, over the years.
“If women dress to appeal to the opposite sex, what right has a woman to object if her “wares” are demanded?”
-Messenger of Truth
VOL. 54
FEBRUARY 2, 1955
(also reprinted in 1970)
“Many mothers dress their children so immodestly in their childhood that they have no modesty when they become teen-age. Do not always look on the man as a sex fiend, for in many cases a girl is to blame for not carrying herself like a lady instead of a flirt, and back of that the girl’s parents are often to blame”
-Messenger of Truth
VOL. 48
APRIL 20, 1949
“A man’s desire can be aroused by touch also, but more than that, he can be aroused by sight as well. Sex crimes in the U.S. increase each year.”
-Messenger of Truth
VOL. 71
MAY 17, 1972
“If we only knew the lewd men that are watching the legs of our dear sisters and fulfilling their lustful desires in the heart arousing them to commit terrible things, we would flee all appearances of evil and pray God to help us to dress modestly and lead the opposite sex to pure and noble thoughts. Women have great influence and power over men.”
-Messenger of Truth
VOL. 64
APRIL 14, 1965
“The crimes of passion are increasing alarmingly and will until the cause is eliminated. The cause is the present style of dress which is, to say the least, very immodest.”
-Messenger of Truth
VOL. 64
JUNE 23, 1965
(reprinted in 1973)
Admittedly, some of these quotes are not quite as awful in context, but they do paint a picture of a world where blaming victims for the actions of abusers is not seen as scandalous. Notably, after the 70s, articles that could be references to abuse within the church went radio silent. Then, in 2018, an article titled Rescue the Perishing was published by the Conference Care Committee, pleading with members to consider making their homes available to young people who, among other issues, “may have been involved in sexual abuse.”
We see many teens who have come from backgrounds of abuse, neglect, and trauma. Although it was recognized that they were not developing normally in their younger years, it has now become even less manageable. Opportunity has been lost, but there is still hope. We often resist admitting to this background being the reason for the maladjustments, for fear that it will be used to justify or excuse. However, there is evidence that the pathways of thought and response have been altered, and actually that is the reason for unmanageable behavior. Can we see the promise of a rewarding life in these young people and nurture that vision? It will take vigilance and effort to steer them into a better path. There is a need for homes that have the parenting skills, the heart, and the understanding for this undertaking. — Conference Care Committee, 2018
Through the lattice of the window, a scene was discernible in the street below. The story could be read in a glance; a youth, idle, searching for amusement, not having evil intent, but lacking moral character and understanding-easy prey for temptation and the devil. As the wise man peered through the lattice, he saw what happened. — Conference Care Committee, 2018
So, what can be done about these issues? As one minister said in the meeting on mental health counseling, what we need is prevention. I believe that prevention starts with accountability. Prevention begins with acknowledging that the church has helped to create this problem and that the church has a part to play in fixing it. From there, church leaders may do well to explore how they can make it easier for victims to come forward and talk openly about the abuse they have suffered, without fear that they will be labeled offended or unforgiving. Perhaps churches could teach openly about how to get help, both from the ministry and from secular resources in the communities they are a part of. Perhaps leaders could be more honest about the issues the church is facing. Using euphemisms like “troubled homes” in lieu of calling sexual abuse what it really is contributes to the problem. The fact that the Holdeman ministry is exclusively male creates a barrier to victims sharing openly what has happened to them. Perhaps church leaders could designate women who could act as a go-between, and who could point victims to resources that are available to them. This problem is not small and is not going away any time soon. The title of this post asks, Is abuse the church’s fault? Maybe it’s not. Maybe the responsibility for their actions rests solely with the perpetrators. Even then, is it not our responsibility as adults and your responsibility as leaders to protect the most vulnerable among us from those who would take advantage of them?
Read Next: Over 400 Excommunicated From Church of God in Christ Mennonite in a Single Year, Records Show
