Opinion: Moral Courage, Shunning, and the Holdeman Mennonites
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” -Jesus of Nazareth
The Golden Rule is found in every world religion. It lays the groundwork for a universal morality and is easily understood by a child. It was one of the first moral lessons I was taught.
Following the Golden Rule requires that we examine our own experiences to imagine what it must be like to be someone else. It requires cognitive empathy.
There is a distinction between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy. Emotional empathy is to feel what someone else is feeling. We find it easy to empathize with someone when we have had similar experiences. Sometimes, other people’s experiences and outlook on life are very different from our own. Cognitive empathy is when effort is required to place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. While we may not feel what someone else is feeling, we imagine it as best we can. The Golden Rule instructs us to do this and then to treat that person as we would like to be treated in that situation — to love our neighbor as ourselves.
Shunning, or avoidance as the Holdemans call it, is a breakdown of empathy and a disregard for the Golden Rule. It is the belief that not everyone should be treated equally or fairly; that, sometimes, we should treat others how we would not like to be treated.
Another one of Jesus’ statements is: “Freely you have received, freely give.” To me, this is a statement about our own internal resources. Those who show compassion are able to do so because they have compassion as an internal resource. When we treat others with kindness and empathy we help them stock up their own internal resource of self-compassion.
Loving others in the way we would want to be loved is difficult if we don’t love ourselves. Following the Golden Rule requires moral courage. It takes courage to love ourselves and others because our flaws seem so apparent. We may think that this or that person needs to reform, to change their ways.
I think if we would examine our own experiences where we have felt isolated or unaccepted we would see that shunning is not an effective way to reach people. Many in the Holdeman community feel sorrow or even remorse for having to shun their loved ones. They have taken the first step of empathy. But the Golden Rule has a second step. We have to muster up our moral courage and do the right thing, sometimes, despite our limited internal resources.
This opinion piece was submitted by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the Holdeman Reporter.
