Spiritual mama
I’ll let you in on a little secret… there’s a tiny human growing healthily in my uterus! It’s not been all hearts and roses though, with 24/7 nausea, extreme tiredness and the occasional (ok, regular) hormonal mood swing, but despite this I am SO beyond happy.
The thing is, this really is a little miracle, I know you often hear people throwing the miracle word around too easily, but yes, really this baby IS a miracle. I sadly suffered a very upsetting and scary ectopic pregnancy just a few short months ago, I was so fortunate to have come through that time with good health. I underwent lengthy surgery to save my life and remove my fallopian tube and will be forever grateful to the amazing doctors that gave me another shot at life!
As you can imagine, the recovery was pretty rough — emotionally and physically. It was all such a shock that I think I was cocooned in a little bubble of disbelief for a good few weeks after, and then one day it really hit me, right in the chest — constant destructive thoughts of, “I might not be able to have another baby.”
After a few difficult weeks, and with an inability to function in the very simplest of terms, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t watch tv, I was just existing and getting through one day to the next. I decided I needed to change something, that day an email flashed up on my phone — a manifesting course, something I’d always been interested in but hadn’t ever invested time in. My life was so busy, running around after my spirited first born, balancing a demanding job, running a home, building up a healing business to name a few. I just couldn’t (or wouldn’t) invest time in ME. But that day, I had nothing else to focus on, family and friends were rallying around and supporting me and I was off work, the time really couldn’t have been more perfect to work on myself and ultimately HEAL.
I signed up to the course and immediately immersed myself into all things ‘Law of Attraction’ — I was watching my thoughts, my actions, ensuring that I was vibrating at the right frequency and ultimately getting back what I put out to the universe. The course tasked me with choosing one affirmation to focus on, an affirmation that thanked the universe for already providing me with what I desired (so not to focus on the lack of). It was an easy choice, I decided my first affirmation would be “I am so grateful to the universe for my healthy and intelligent body. Thank you for the love and abundance you shower me and my family with.” It was all about believing and FEELING I already had this intelligent and healthy body. So I would sit down and repeatedly write out my affirmation each night whilst shedding any negative blocks I was holding onto. I needed to let go of the past, let go of feeling let down by my body — move on from the pain that my ectopic pregnancy had brought me. It really was a healing experience.
Once I have completed my first set of affirmations, I released this to the universe, I love the saying “If you ordered something in a restaurant, you wouldn’t repeatedly question the waiter about whether it’s ever going to turn up?” so I trusted, I knew that my recovery was in progress, that the universe was healing my body. I shifted from being sad and angry to grateful that my body was so flipping clever that it warned me something was going wrong, the reality was my body saved my life and I loved it for that.
Roll on affirmation two… this came a few weeks later, intuitively I knew I needed to heal emotionally before I could put my next affirmation out there, so I did just that. Then the time came and I thanked the universe for the following… “I am SO blessed to enjoy a healthy, happy pregnancy, baby and delivery. THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!” as with my first, I started to get excited, as I wrote each line out I imagined so many scenarios; getting a positive pregnancy test, having a successful ultrasound, telling the world “I’m pregnant!!”, delivering a healthy, happy baby and completing my little family. I wrote out my affirmations with a smile on my face and an excitement in my heart and I just KNEW it was coming.
And do you know what?
A week later (10 weeks post surgery) — One positive pregnancy test
A month later…. One successful scan. Healthy baby in the right place!
I’ve still got several months to go, but I trust. I trust that the universe has my back. I have asked and it has been given. What a revelation!? With this knowledge, the world is my oyster!!
