Remembering the Dead

Hello everyone!

My name is Bryant Holland and I am currently in college studying Software Engineering. You may be wondering, “Why is a Software Engineer writing a story on Medium?” This is a good question, because 10 minutes ago, I just registered my account on here, and am now publishing my first story!

So, the reason why I am writing right now is because a friend of mine from back home has recently passed away. I understand this unfortunately occurs every day to others, but this has been the first for me.

Death can’t be fathomed.

His name was Ryan Opitz. We played on the same club volleyball team for 3 years. For those of you who don’t know, club volleyball is very demanding and takes up about three fourths of the year. So, I was around Ryan a lot, and we shared some great memories.

He wasn’t always the friendliest person to be around, but he knew how to make everyone smile and laugh. From the way he acted, to his constant making of jokes, it was impossible to not break a smile or chuckle. No matter what mood you were in, he knew how to make it better.

Ryan had the best attitude towards life; he took everything that came at him and turned it into a memory. He knew how to make the most out of everything.

Death can’t be avoided.

I can still remember his laughs, the way he starred when an attractive girl would pass by, the way he would fix his hair every 5 minutes. It is hard to grasp the fact that I won’t witness any of this ever again. He is gone.

I can’t accept this though, and I won’t. Every time I play volleyball, I will always remember Ryan. He will always be there, playing with his hair and talking shit under the net to the other team. He will always be my setter, placing the ball at the perfect location every time. His presence will always be there.

And that is why I am sharing this story with all of you: I want everyone to remember the dead. All the loved and close ones that are watching over us right now need to be remembered.

Indeed, you may tell of some stories of the people that have passed away here and there, but that isn’t good enough. We aren’t living our lives to end up just being memories: we are living to establish a presence.

All I ask of you is to take some time after reading this, and think of all the people who have left your life too early. Remember their names and who they are, not were.

It is too hard to get over a death of a loved one, so don’t. Embrace all the memories you shared with them. Get a box of tissues and for every tear you wipe away, remember one specific memory of that person.

Death isn’t meant to be adjusted too. It is meant to remind us of why we are still here. Life is just one big reminiscence. If we forget this, then we are as good as dead.

Death is a friend.

Ryan’s service is this Friday and I am looking forward to going to it. Ever since he has passed away, I remember him everywhere I go. I can’t stop seeing him. But I am not trying to avoid this, I am embracing it.

Rest in peace Ryan. You are in a better place now.