Putting the Pro in Procrastination
I really was pretty amazing at it in university. I had this uncanny ability to both leave things off and keep on track enough that I always had my assignments in, even if it was by the skin of my teeth.
Now that I am a bonefide grown up and don’t necessarily have deadlines staring me down, but still have responsibilities, procrastination has taken on a new role in my life. Sometimes it is dishes. More often it sneaks in on the things I want to do but am uncertain about how to approach. Once in a while it is a beautiful opportunity for me to relax and replenish before attacking a task with full force, but it also frequently sets up shop and transforms into a kind of seething complacency, keeping me from taking certain risks or stepping out of the box that doesn’t actually exist.
Recently I started tackling a variety of discomforts in my life by forging a new routine. Oddly enough, with the introduction of “mandatory” (by me, of course) activities, I find I am having more time. More clarity. Not that facebook doesn’t suck me in ever anymore, but it is so rare now that people often have to tell me that they sent something to me. I am happier, more enthusiastic and inspired. Not the effects I intended when I started all of this, but pleasant ones nonetheless. I never intended, for example, to stop using facebook almost altogether — but it was a side effect of making other things a priority. Losing facebook time has actually cost me nothing, but has had a profound positive impact on my attitude (and freed up even more time for other loves!)
I have been putting off starting this blog for some time, for lack of something to say. It was supposed to be an exercise in exploring my flaws (a topic which should provide me with ample fodder). But I couldn’t get started, I just couldn’t think of something. Who cares about my flaws? At some point though, we have to question if we are putting it off waiting for the ideas, or if we are just putting off our ideas. Sometimes, even if uncertain, the most powerful thing you can do is anything at all. Anything is still something, after all.