I’ve seen a couple of comments on Facebook posts and such saying things like, “For the last eight years, we have been the laughingstock of the world. Now Trump is bringing us respect!”

To us liberals, this seems like patent nonsense, because it is. This isn’t something we have to speculate about — we can take surveys and actually ask world citizenry what they think of us, and various groups do. Barack Obama was WILDLY popular worldwide, almost universally seen as a safe guiding hand and unifying figure. A laughingstock? It seems that applies a lot more now — check the front cover of any foreign satirical magazine… and that confidence rating of Donald Trump’s ability in the Pew Global survey linked above. At least, they’re laughing in between gasping sobs upon waking from vivid nightmares of nuclear war.

There we go again, silly libs, thinking actual statistics and facts matter. Ordinarily, of course, your average Trumpist doesn’t much care what those unfavored non-Americans think anyway — they hate us ’cause they ain’t us, as the saying goes. But what even planted the idea that we were a “laughingstock” during the Obama administration? And how could a reality-show buffoon like Trump possibly reverse that course?

Let me answer your question with another question. Have you heard the term “cuck”?

It’s been slung around the internet a lot lately, and it’s a favorite epithet of the so-called alt-right. Forgive me if I’m patronizing by explaining, but it’s a shortened form of cuckold, which is an insulting term for a man whose wife has an affair. It’s not in common use anymore outside of the alt-right and certain pornographic circles, because we have, blessedly, mostly left behind the idea of wives as property. The idea, I guess, is that when men have affairs it’s kind of natural, an outgrowth of the male gender’s avowed horniness coupled with a frigid wife. When women have affairs, however, it means their man must be a weak little milquetoast, and she humiliates him by showing the world that he’s not doing enough for her. What man, passersby wonder, could not be wanting sex with his wife enough to satisfy her? Maybe he can’t get it up. Maybe his wang is too small.

And here we come upon the delightful intersection of sexism and racism. While we’re engaging in a rare moment of men shaming other men (although of course the women come in for some blame — unfaithfulness and sluttitude can’t go unpunished!), we must also recall the long-held assumption that black men have larger penises. Whether or not this is supported by research is irrelevant; it’s the popular perception, and has been for hundreds of years of American history. The worst fears of the Jim Crow South seem to have been the possibility of white women being raped by marauding black men — or worse, that the women might actually enjoy it, thus discovering what they’d been missing. This cultural penis envy motivated a horrifying number of lynchings. (Although, what number of lynchings isn’t horrifying?)

Here’s the base truth. This group feels that by inviting a black man into the White House, we cuckolded ourselves, thus humiliating America throughout the world, and that by returning a white man — ANY white man, but particularly a white man who to them seems so strong and powerful and big-handed — to the presidency, we have restored our honor and redeemed ourselves for our mistake.

“Cuck” isn’t just a general, weirdly archaic insult on people’s manhood. It’s a very specific racist attack. If you voted for Obama, you actively chose to disgrace America on the world stage, by letting someone without the proper qualification lead us — by letting a black man have sex with your wife.

But now, of course, we’ve brought our wife back home, and we’ve shown the world that we’ll shoot dead any thug who tries to take her again. Respect through intimidation. Just one more proud American tradition.