Cultivating Gratefulness
I used to wake up feeling miserable. I had to go to work. I didn’t want to be there. I had a hangover from the night before….
I’ve done a lot of self-work to change these mental habits, and one way I’ve found that really helps adjust one’s mindset is to write three things that you’re grateful for everyday.
Now I know what you’re thinking.
Bill, come on. This is like Therapy 101. I’ve heard this “secret to happiness before.” Hell, I’ve even tried it. It does nothing for me.
Ok. Valid. I understand the frustration. It’s not an easy habit to keep up with because by day 7 you’re struggling trying to think if you can write that you’re grateful for your striped underwear.
But I often think with this exercise that we 1. Think Too Broad and 2. Miss the Big Picture. Let me explain:
Thinking Too Broad
When I first started doing this exercise, I found that I kept writing down big things: I’m grateful for my fiancée, my car, my cat, and my apartment. And of course, that’s fine! All those things are extremely important in my life. It’d be wild if I ignored them.
But I soon ran out of the big things. “Have I written my car already? What about the fact that I’m alive?” Soon, it made me have to make a mental shift.
“Huh. I guess I have to think about other things I’m grateful for.” I thought. And I started thinking smaller.
“I’m grateful for the calmness of morning. I’m grateful for the way that person was understanding when I had trouble ordering my coffee. I’m grateful for the thank you email that person sent when I gave them what they needed.”
Most people run out of big things in the first couple days. You have to start looking around, finding smaller and more detailed things. And funnily enough….
Don’t Miss the Big Picture
That’s the whole point of this exercise!
Most people don’t make it past the first step because they’re resistant to shifting their mindset, myself included. It was hard having to realize that there are tons of things that I miss regularly that are positive in my life. I just choose to ignore them such as:
The way the sunset looks off my porch, the look outside after a fresh snow, the feeling of a cozy night with tea.
It’s easy to let these moments slip us by. Especially when they’re spent worrying if tomorrow’s presentation will go well or if the doctor at our appointment in a week will tell us we need to lose weight or else.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to fix issues in our life. But what I am saying it’s ok and perfectly healthy to take a moment, maybe even once a day, just to reflect on what we’re grateful for.
Because often, there’s a lot we’re missing.
Have you tried this exercise before? Did it work for you? Why or why not?
Hey, I’m Bill. I write about spirituality, music, and self-help. I also like to focus on what’s important for our mental health. If we’re vibing, don’t be afraid to follow me. I’m here to help.
