Strangers Endangered (Maximizing The Potential of Serendipity)

Growing up in the eighties, the concept of “stranger danger” was a phrase that found widespread adoption and echoed throughout hallways of U.S. schools year after year. The overall harrowing theme was that strangers are the enemy and we should never speak to them. All strangers had a hidden agenda that would not end well for us gullible children. They posed a serious threat to our peaceful suburban utopias and, as you will see in the PSA video below, were a menacing threat.

Definitely worth a re-watch…..

Videos like this were shown in classrooms around the country instilling fear into our young, impressionable minds and creating a warped sense of humanity. The irony is that most child abductions and abuse result not from strangers, but rather from someone the child knows. In fact child abduction has never been that monumental of a problem in the grand scheme of things:

Some quick stats:

• 800,000 kids are reported missing year over year in the U.S.
• 90% percent of abductees return home within 24 hours and the vast majority are teenage runaways.
• Nearly 99% are found within hours or days by usual law enforcement response.
• Only 115 are the result of “stereotypical kidnapping” — a stranger snatching the child

So where am I going with this?

Well, it could be said that some of the formative brain-washing imposed by the “stranger danger” campaign may have created some lingering effects on us Gen X/Gen Yers as we matured into our 20s, 30s and 40s. Combined with the collective consciousness of humanity sinking deeper and deeper into our online personas, this all paints a very bleak picture for the future of real world, interpersonal relations.

I’m not here to prove or disprove any of that.

I’m simply here to encourage that we all SHOULD talk to strangers. Throughout all stages in our lives including our precocious early years. I believe that there’s a ton of value created when two random people interact for the first time in an unforced way. I’ve found that more often than not, something positive comes from these types of interactions socially, professionally and personally. Simply giving a stranger a genuine compliment can have powerful effects….. Below is a great example taken from a friend’s Facebook page posted last week:

If nothing more, speaking to strangers will break us out of short-term complacency as well as disrupt the monotony of our day-to-day.

I also like to believe that the majority of people in the world are inherently good-natured and in no way, shape or form representative of the characters in the video.

People are the fabric that stitch together the quilts of our lives. Those with whom we spend our time, make us who we are and help shape our existence. We can learn an incredible amount from people and their experiences as well as create new opportunities, forge new friendships, find love, discover new ways of thinking about things and look at the world through a different lens.

Ironically, I also enjoy speaking to strangers for most of the “11 Traps to Avoid” that were highlighted in the video. Let’s review each one by one:

Helping: Everyone needs help and doing random acts of kindness for a fellow human feels good + it’s a net positive for society. When it comes down to it, if a stranger was really in a bind, I’d like to think that most of us would go out of our way to help them and vice versa.

Bribing: The example in the video is hilarious. If a woman was so bold to invite me to her car to replace her gameboy batteries, I would A. give her tons of creativity points and B. acknowledge the clear indication that she was into me and would therefore be flattered. I’d definitely want to talk to her more.

Being Famous: You want me to be in a movie! Hell yes! I love being on-screen and want my 15 minutes of fame. Sign me up. Again, flattered

Having Fun: I wish more people would invite me to do fun stuff unsolicited. Our lives would be so much more interesting. In fact this should be a new social experiment. Step out of your comfort zone and experience new things in your community with strangers.

Getting a Job: We live in a gig economy where the traditional employer/employee relationship is currently being fractured and modified. If I could make a quick $10-$20 to help someone carry groceries or pump their gas, sign me up! It would be a nice interpersonal value exchange. I bet everyone will feel good about it.

Playmate: I don’t really know how this differs from the “Having Fun” scenario, but again, activities with strangers sounds super intriguing.

Emergency: If there is an emergency situation at hand you better believe I will be chatting up every stranger within arms length or walking distance to try and diffuse the situation. Strength in numbers. Also, going through a traumatic situation with someone can be the fastest way to form a deep connection.

Affection: Sometimes everyone just needs hug. In fact, this would be another fun social experiment: everyone hug one stranger a day for a month and see how it effects your mood and overall emotional well-being.

Authority: I love how a pizza guy was used as a symbol of authority. I think we should chat more with our local pizza delivery person or police officer or government official. It can bridge a societal gap and bring it all down to a humanistic level which will provide empathy and context for all.

Hero: Professional photographer = hero I suppose. This is similar to “Being Famous”. If a stranger really was adamant about taking my picture and they had a compelling reason, I would totally comply and strike up a convo. Who knows where that conversation might lead and what opportunities may come about.

Threat : OK, I can’t with this one + I don’t even get it. What’s the secret? How is this a trap? Who threatens to kill people’s dogs!?

So there you have it. I’m hoping this philosophy will challenge some of our inherent beliefs and fundamental ideals regarding social interaction. Perhaps it can ignite a new sense of openness to new experiences and re-think how we should be interacting and treating each other IRL. (in real life). It’s been said that believing the world is a safer place increases our overall health and well-being. Perhaps we will all start trusting ourselves more after we began to trust others. It’s actually already happening, we just don’t quite acknowledge it:

So get out there and talk to strangers. Let’s simultaneously embrace new experiences and uncomfortable feelings by embracing our fellow humans.