Humans of Blue Rock #31–33
“It’s tough aging backwards because even though I have a lifetime worth of wisdom, nobody takes me seriously. I don’t need a nap, goddammit, I fought in ‘Nam!”
“My mom really loves me. Like completely, wholeheartedly loves me, knowing full well exactly the kind of person I am. I’m worried she might be mentally retarded.”
“I know on an intellectual level that everyone poops but certain people I just can’t picture doing it. And believe me it’s not for lack of trying.”
“I lost my wife four years ago in a car accident. Then a week later I lost my infant son in a poker game. Never play poker for family members on tilt.”
“People always tell me I’m in denial but they’re wrong.”
“For the last 30 years, I’ve been in love with my best friend’s wife. And it’s great because my best friend is my wife and her best friend is also my wife. The 3 of us are so happy together! Hooray for polygamy!”
“I’m no good with women. But I’m great with men! But I’m straight. But I’m also fundamentalist Christian so I believe sexuality is a choice! But that doesn’t make it true. But I can still try! Arruuuugggghhhhhhhhh!!!! Nope. Still like boobs.”
