If Your Political Friends Were Restaurants

Published on April 29th, 2015 | by Hypeline Staff

Starbucks

We all know this friend. An overwhelming liberal who unabashedly provokes friends to start “discussions” about the hot-topics of the day. #RaceTogether anyone?! Of course, these discussions aren’t discussions at all. The conversation is a carefully crafted series of talking points designed to appeal to your other friend’s sense of emotion and humanity. Do not be surprised when your liberal friend serves you social guilt with your morning coffee.

Chick-fil-a

On the other end of the restaurant-political spectrum sits our Chick-fil-a friend. Southern charm and southern conservatism. She’s rooted in her conservative beliefs, doesn’t push them down the throats of others, yet able to stand her ground and make her values well known when faced with opposition.

“I’ll have a dash of fiscal responsibility and Christian value in my sweet tea, ma’am.”

McDonalds

No one likes a flip-flopper. We need to gently remind this type of friend that authenticity is admired in the political arena. If you’re a burger flipping, soda selling, fast-food joint, don’t try to become the next Whole Foods just because that’s what your friends want to hear. Whether you’re Republican, Democrat, or anywhere in-between, be true to yourself and for the love of God, don’t flip flop!!

Menchies

Ah, yes. The girl who sits the in the back row of Political Science 101 and raises her hand to ask the professor why Team Blue and Team Red don’t get along. And, like, why don’t they have cuter mascots? Donkeys and elephants are so 2012. Maybe Hillary will choose a puppy mascot!

The Cheesecake Factory

“Daddy’s a Republican, so I am too.” This is your stereotypical 1%-er who is incapable of articulating the logical arguments supporting her (or his) beliefs. Put down the wine glass and pick up a book. There’s nothing wrong with your ideology, but there is something wrong with your lack of understanding. The mockery will stop as soon as you have facts to back up your opinion.

Tags: chick-fil-a, Food, News, starbucks