Dear Mama, Just Know You’re Appreciated

Dear Mama, I know at times growing up it seemed like I didn’t appreciate the continious things you and dad would do to make sure me and the rest of the family lived a good life without feeling less of ourselves. You sacrificed a lot to make sure we were able to do things that our peers were doing and dress in similar clothes that our peers were wearing. We were fortunate to play sports that cost a substantial amount of money, go on field trips that you and dad really couldn’t afford, but knew it would make us feel left out if we couldn’t go and dress in clothes from stores like The Gap and American Eagle just so we could fit in and feel good about ourselves.

As I grew older I became a coward and started blaming you for things. I blamed you for the low confidence that you passed on to me. I blamed you for not encouraging me and not feeling the support from you that I needed. I blamed you for making me feel like I wasn’t adequete enough and born to have it harder than everyone else. I felt frustrated that some things that I really wanted didn’t go my way and I took it out on you. I had turned into a monster who didn’t care if I teared you down to make myself feel better. I regret that person I was.

It took me time to realize that none of it was your fault. You did the best you could with what you knew out of love. You didn’t have any classes to teach you how to parent. You grew up in a blue collar family with your dad working his but off as a truck driver to provide for the family. You dealt with death at a young age of 14 when your father didn’t come home because the brakes froze on his truck while he was on the job. You being the eldest child was forced to step up and help out with the rest of the kids. Then you lost your mother in your 20's. Through all this you still managed to get married, have two kids and take in your nephew and niece. Even though you probably won’t admit and say it I’m here to say that you carry the strength of any player in the NFL. I mean hell you beat Cancer twice.

You taught us to use manners all the time. You taught us to be respectful of everyone. You taught us to never use words that could put anyone down no matter what they looked like. You taught us to be grateful for everything that we have. unconsciously you taught me how to treat a woman. I received my sarcastic personality from you. I received my ability to find the positive in things and laugh through the bullshit from you. Your laugh and smile is so contagious it lights up the room. All of these things shaped me into the great man that I am today and I’m thankful for it.

You did what any mother would do and worried for me but in the back of your mind I think you knew I was going to be alright since you did a hell of a job raising me. You never quite understood my passion, and dream, and what it entailed, yet you knew what it meant to me so you were there every step of the way helping wherever you could. The times you woke me up for hockey practice at 5am, the times you drove me and picked me up from work, and the times you drove me to South Station at 6am so I could take the bus to New York City to intern at Def Jam will never erase from my memory. I am forever grateful for those moments you sacrificed to get me where I needed to be without any objection. You made many sacrifices for Chrissy, Briana, Chris and I just so we could live a great life. I’m here to say that those acts of putting us before you never went unnoticed. You did all those things for us out of love.

I know you would go to the lengths of this earth to help someone out. Your heart is the size of Texas. I only hope to raise my kids as great as you raised us. So on this Mothers Day I’m here to say that there’s no way I could repay you for what you have done for me. Just know you are appreciated and I would do anything in my power to help you out and see you wear that cheerful smile you own.

Happy Mother’s Day Ma!!

I love you!