Post-infertility and post-Truth World. Is calling anyone’s baby “ugly” ever justifiable? #NIAW
The reason to speak out are same reasons Ellen deGeneres cited for “coming out” — just tired of living a life of lies. The difference in 20 years, in a generational shift, now the issue is about “Surrogacy born children [of LGBTI]”. Same issues, same archaic society and laws, same stigma, same lies, same secrecy, same denials. In my “coming out”, some very powerful people’s lies, abuse, exploits against innocent children and women will be exposed, they can silence me for now but can they silence TIME? No one or no system is that powerful and as they say in Texas, let’s roll, y’ll. And anyways in a “free world”, what are you trying to prove by silencing a little girl child? The powerful can choose to silence me like I was before and what have you proven? You bully/exploit little girl child? What will you go and tell your wife, daughter (or son), mother at home, all a girl child like me? It’s your choice on how to proceed in a post-truth, post-infertility world, I choose to follow the Constitution — truth, liberty, and justice for all with humility and compassion.
News flash : Only way an immigrant, Infertile, Intersex family can bring a child born via IVF/Surrogacy in India to the US is by lying which breaks laws. I know, what a terrible crime to want to have children and have an American DREAM!
People who work hard in America are also the SAME people who were once asked not to vote because of their “gender” or asked to move to the back of the bus due to “color of skin” or now we have BlackLivesMatter, BlueLivesMatter, AllLivesMatter. We are all the SAME people, not different, just the pendulum of time and discrimination seems to change. For us, “brown” children born via IVF/Surrogacy in India to immigrant, infertile, intersex family in US, its about whether ChildLivesMatter? Instead of celebrating in a post-truth, post-infertility world where we have overcome complex issues like intersex, immigration, infertility which millions if not billions are struggling with every day, here we are exploiting innocent children and women by dividing us which is calling a baby ugly. This is our reality in a post-truth, post-infertility world from perspective of us the innocent children, not adults who lie, fraud, commit perjury, and almost all crimes in this world are committed by adults and not by any newborn infant unless our “birth” itself is illegal? We stand on side of truth and human dignity and respect, how about you? Speaking against us implicitly means you also agree to deleting a girl child and dividing siblings by making both stateless, which side are you on? This is NOT a battle of “genders” (to say sexes would be archaic) or battle of immigrants or battle of “Genetic link” (as per laws) or nationality or race or religion or sexual orientation — all mostly “birth type” conditions used to Divide us. For anyone who says all these facts are ugly and imagine its effects on us the innocent children are either ignorant of facts or hypocrites because where were they while we are still fighting for our FREEDOM due to Statelessness? This is about truth, freedom, equality with inclusion of us the children. Results COUNT. And any child born like us should also COUNT Equally, which side are you on?
Divide and Conquer is failed strategy but for how long do we support it?
There are lot of “criss-cross” themes as outlined on gun control laws and history through the eyes of an Indian American. Similarly, there are lot of “criss-cross” here also but fundamentally its about FREEDOM, Truth, EQUALITY with inclusion, we can’t have a Divide and conquer strategy. Not only is it wrong and failed but reminds of a heinous past with effects even today. Divide and conquer strategy is centuries old. The British infamously used that against a united India and even today India and Pakistan are arch rivals instead of being united less than a few decades ago. Bangladesh (also part of a united India) and India seem to be getting along despite a few differences. While Pakistan is considered a terrorist frothing state not just by India but world powers like America are coming around too including a bill sponsored in US Congress to declare Pakistan a terrorist state. All three are “siblings”. We are also three siblings, all born in India but divided due to lies, post-infertility, post-truth using a fraud birth certificate for our brother. Using fraud birth certificate for people is “not new”. As evidence, at the Holocaust museum in Washington, DC, amongst the horrors of Holocaust, they have also documented the “good” of people. One such person is Irene Sendler who experts say gave “false legal identity” to over 2500 Jewish people to smuggle them out and be saved from the Nazis. She tried to “talk mothers out of giving up their children”. This is a “good deed” of knowingly creating a false legal identity. In contrast, I, a little girl child and a sister was NOT allowed a “false legal identity” to come to the US due to a “travel ban” on Children born like me while my brother, born the same way is allowed the SAME lies. What is the purpose of divide and conquer over us innocent children? If the purpose is to solve Infertility which I support (you know reason for my birth), can we please do it without deleting a girl child (me), denying due process (me), not exploiting innocent children and women (me)? Clearly, its not about truth, “rule of law”, compassion for Children and siblings, UNITING siblings and families, so what is it about? Is it because our name is not “Smith”?
What “rule of law”? It has been made a complete MOCKERY
Everyone cares very DEEPLY about who is the mother, is there anyone who cares about us the innocent children and siblings? Laws claim that Surrogacy born children like us born to an infertile couple during a marriage are “child born out of wedlock” (Abuse 1). Laws claim father is the person with “genetic link” and “mother” is vague. First has to be a “female” legally. Second, the female whose egg is used (egg donor in my case) with a “genetic link” is the mother. Or the one who gives birth is mother. The lawfully wedded spouse (male, female or intersex) is NOT the mother. But here is a NEWS FLASH: Me and my brother born the SAME way during the SAME marriage and with COMMON DNA and common birth condition will always be brother and sister in case any one cares!!!! How many abuses are we upto?
And there is a difference between lying, hypocrisy, and exploitation and abuse. How do you explain our status quo as children and siblings of being divided and made stateless due to our “birth condition”? This is disrespecting us and calling a baby ugly, how is it justifiable?
We have heard of BlackLivesMatter, BlueLivesMatter, AllLivesMatter. Regardless of whether one agrees or not, we can all agree there is discrimination as evidenced by existence of this “feeling”. Do ChildLivesMatter? In Washington, DC where the Holocaust museum is (a must visit), a few blocks down are the Smithsonian museums (also a must visit). There is a section dedicated to South Asian Americans (people like me) and our struggles and accomplishments as a people. Bhagat Singh Thind and A.K.Mozumdar are listed as the first “Indian Americans” who were DENIED US citizenship initially because our race is “other” as cited in a US Supreme court (a powerful authority) order. Today less than 100 years later, its not true where we have millions of Indian American citizens but we also have an anti-immigrant sentiments, you know immigrants like us.
We also have *some*, not all, rich, powerful Indian Americans who exploit fellow ethnic people via archaic and criminal activities like FGM, exploiting domestic help, etc. Kinda like deleting a girl child (me). Kinda like using a sister as bait to suppress the truth and to extort my brother away by an Infertile, immigrant adult and making us the children Stateless (loss of FREEDOM) to Divide us.
Are we Siblings divided because of stereotypes?
Do we believe in truth, liberty, justice for all by including us or by dividing us? What are we supporting for the future — you know us the children, not you the adults reading this?
- Maybe if our parent was a “woman”, we wouldn’t be divided because you know fathers are useless and insensitive then what about gay fathers?
2. Are we divided due to “false legal identity”? Irene Sendler did it to save thousands of lives. In this case, we are dividing innocent lives. What’s the purpose?
3. Are we divided due to “rule of law”? Well in another case, America annulled an already issued passport of an IVF/Surrogacy born child in India (just like me and my brother) when discovered that the “non-genetic” parent had used a “false legal identity” to get the child’s passport (you know Oscar2017 moment).
4. Are we divided because we are not LGBTI? But our family has survived UNSRT recognized torture to both Intersex patients and family when a now deemed unnecessary Intersex surgery. Or are spouse and siblings not family?
5. Are we divided because we do not know what infertility is? We have survived infertility, same thing a LGBTI couple goes through. I was born after 3 years and 5 miscarriages, we know infertility.
6. We have survived childhood statelessness, same thing some IVF/Surrogacy parents go through for their children. In our case, we had to go through as a cause for DIVISION of us the siblings, most others go through to UNITE siblings even if rest of the world disagrees.
Does Rest of the World AGREE with exploiting innocent children and women?
Parents who do IVF/Surrogacy can be from any race, religion, caste, creed, gender, nationality, sexual orientation. So why are we divided? This is our post-truth and post-infertility world. It is the age old issue. The rich and powerful exploit the vulnerable and innocent.
You know a rich, powerful adult in Houston, Texas exploiting a little girl child in India(me) who was created with their consent to solve their infertility and be a sibling to my brother. Perhaps their intent was different?
Do the laws and Americans agree? Do fellow infertile, LGBTI adults agree? Today commercial surrogacy is banned in India, did situation like these help? Someone told a black lady to “move to the back of the bus” because “its the law”. I have been told to “move on as is with no due process and no justice” because “its the law”. I respectfully disagree, do you? To put a “real-life” contemporary fact (post-truth), even in 2017, Houston, Texas where I am DELETED as a girl child and sister, has laws where adults have to “choose” public bathroom as per their “biological sex” at birth. But amazingly, in 2009, an intersex adult (born “XY” male) can choose to DELETE a sibling (me) but COUNT another sibling (my brother) which both divides us and denies our individual rights. What is the “rule of law” trying to say?
I know a little about being discriminated due to a “birth condition” and both are wrong and archaic. What we need is a holistic solution. Status quo means 400,000/year Texan Children are at risk of being DELETED by spouse in Texas, is this the “rule of law” we want?
Or perhaps, the value of life of an immigrant, IVF/Surrogacy child born in India is LESS VALUABLE? fine, my brother is born the same way and allow us to be UNITED and thus be equal even in our inequality. I am speaking up against the Divide and conquer strategy and replace with UNITE and solve strategy peacefully. Which side do you support?