INT. COURTROOM — DAY
NICK PATIDES sits on the stand. He’s infuriated: waving his arms around to emphasize his point.
NICK: You can’t just hit on another guy’s girlfriend in front of him. He had it coming, your honor. If I hit on another guy’s girlfriend, I expect that dude to bust out my windows. I don’t know why he’s being such a baby about it. He can get new car windows. I can’t get another girlfriend. I broke windows. I didn’t hurt anybody.
The PROSECUTOR raises his eyebrows: surprised. The JUDGE leans forward: interested.
Nick’s jaw drops as he realizes what he just said.
PROSECUTOR: So you admit that you broke the Plaintiff’s car windows.
NICK: I didn’t mean it like that.
JUDGE: Then how did you mean in Mr. Patides? Because it seems pretty night and day to me.
NICK: I meant metaphorically. I broke his emotional windows when I called him an asshole.
PROSECUTOR: So you admit you’re the one who spray painted the word asshole on the plaintiff’s house.
NICK: I did not say that.
PROSECUTOR: But you do say the word asshole.
NICK: Say it, don’t spray it.
PROSECUTOR: Clever. However, we can agree you’re the one who shattered the plaintiff’s windows.
NICK: Is it too late for a plea deal?
JUDGE: You are not a very smart man Mr. Patides.
Nick slinks down in his seat.