Am I Hungry or Bored?

You had a rough day; you deserve a treat.

Two weeks ago, the weather was pretty; it made me go “winter who?”. Every day I got my steps in and did at least 30 minutes of cardio at an elevated heart rate as well as continuing my 30-day yoga challenge. I finally felt like I was doing it. However the universe must balance itself, and in true Andrea fashion, I also got a snack every day. Sometimes it was bubble tea, sometimes salt and vinegar chips, usually always salty or sugary. By Friday, I recognized I may have been getting snacks to give my lunchtime walks more purpose. I’m walking towards…Vivi bubble tea. I walking towards crunchy, perfect kettle chips. At the end of that week, I didn’t even really want a snack, but I also felt like I need to get one? I recognized that I was rewarding my self for making healthy choices with unhealthy choices. This can’t be a philosophy that is exclusively true to me, but it is a behavior I have fought my whole life. So the thing I did this week was tracking my food and ask “Am I actually hungry or is it something else?”

Sunday

Breakfast at the diner! I am a sucker for a good diner breakfast. Kale and eggs, potatoes, and one empanada. Bless you, Empanada Loca.

Lunch comes around, and I don’t feel so great, and I’m not hungry but I should have something. Veggie and guac sandwich on a sesame bun. It was only okay, and despite the fact that I wasn’t that hungry to begin with, I ate it all. Symptoms: bored and grumpy.

When Dinner comes around it’s time to take a break from our season 1 marathon on Game of Thrones (I’ve never watched it before). We heat up leftover pasta and stuffed pepper filling, and I have an apple for dessert. Again, not really hungry, but I’ve got to have something. My sick-ish Sunday threw me off and I haven’t done any food prep for the week. Before Monday even gets here I feel behind. Not cool.

Monday

I’m very burnt out on eating out. It was always a treat to do it growing up, but as an adult, it’s usually out of an act of convenience. This morning I woke up over it.

Breakfast: Egg white frittata from Pret. As all food at Pret…it was fine, but never more than that. Sorry, Pret.

Lunch: I went to the deli down the street to see what their specials were. I got a turkey and cheese on a roll and NO CHIPS. I love CHIPS, but I got some fruit from the salad bar instead. The salad bar is $9.99 a pound now (wtf?) so I spent WAY more than a sandwich and fruit should be. $14! I hate myself, but I love mango. Hey mango baby. Kisses.

Dinner: We’re both bored with dinner until forever. Dinner is a chore that we are sick of doing! Everything we usual makes sounds lame. So, I offer to pick up a pizza on the way home as our final take out of the week, and we decide to plan dinner for the rest of the week. FOILED AGAIN. I needed to finish writing last week’s blog, that cut into planning time. By 9:45pm, we decided to just dive into Game of Thrones and try again tomorrow.

Tuesday

Everything mode of transportation is late forever and it is snowing. It’s just snow, the ground is fine, the roads are clear, and I use UNDERGROUND transportation, but still, I am running late. A scene from the platform:
Dan: Are you angry?
Andrea: Yeah
Dan: Okay…can I do anything?
Andrea: Nope, I’ll be fine. I want a coffee
Dan: Get a coffee.
Andrea: But I haven’t had coffee this entire year.
Dan: Yeah. Well, okay, get a fancy tea.
Andrea: Yeah, a fancy tea sounds good.|
Enter: comfort food

I get a medium Golden Matcha Latte and an almond croissant from Peet’s coffee, and I’m annoyed with how much I’ve already spent on food this week. Grumble, grumpy, boooooo Tuesday. Fuck off, Tuesday. I add one thing to our dinner ideas…broccoli soup. That’s all I can think of? What kind of monster am I?

I want to not spend too much at lunch, so my planful brain starts running through options at about 10:30am. What is filling, healthy and cheap? Where can I get the most bang for my buck? What am I even in the mood for? At mid-morning, I am re-aggravated by hearing I might have to go to a really unnecessary event for work that I 100 do not need to go to. It made me grumpy and that grumpiness has manifested as a strong desire to CHOMP salty halal french fries. T-minus 1 hour until lunch. I went to CAVA and got a mini pita with beef meatballs and tomato soup. I didn’t get fries and today, I’m letting this be my win. Let the cycle be broken!

My manager gave me caramel kettle corn that a partner sent us. I didn’t say no. I didn’t even try to. It’s really good. Free snacks taste the best!

Dan said he was staying late at work to avoid train congestion. I immediately started thinking about what snack I should have while waiting for him for dinner. Self-eye roll. We made our own burrito bowls at home for dinner after finally stocking up at the store. Rice, beans, kale, tomatoes, avocado, and salsa. Delicious. I wanted a hot chocolate, but I’ve had a lot of extra sugar today, so I didn’t. I’m so STRONG!

Wednesday

On Tuesday night I got my act together and made breakfast for the rest of the week. Plain yogurt, honey, apples, Kashi cereal in a mason jar. Having that this morning means no pit stops between the train and work, no trying to decide which is the lesser evil of breakfast foods. Also, why is so much breakfast awful for us? Why have we done this to ourselves? Muffins are cake. Pancakes are fried bread with sugar. Eggs get boring. It’s hard to make a healthy choice when everything quick and easy is not great for you.

On my floor at work, we used to have this big open space to eat meals and nobody else in the building really knew about it. In November they closed in the kitchen area. The layout is awkward. And more people from other floors started coming up to use it. Sometimes there aren’t enough chairs. In the summer its easier because I can just go eat in a park, but in the winter it feels kind of stuck. Today’s lunch brought to you by my antisocial tendencies.

I buy chicken paprikash soup and a spinach and cheese croissant for lunch. It filled me up! I liked it, but I was BORED and restless for the last 25 minutes of my lunch hour, so I decided to walk around Union Square. It was a little too cold for me, so I ducked into a Duane Reade and ended up getting some Valentine’s day chocolates. I am mad at myself as I check-out. I wasn’t even that hungry. But I gave one to Dan, so that’s nice, right?

Stopped on the way home at the tiny Italian market in my building to get some fresh bread and prosciutto. We made broccoli soup (no cream, just broccoli and water like Gordon Ramsay) and open-face sandwiches with the meat, cheddar and sun dried tomatoes. It felt SO fancy but was incredibly easy to make. Like, quicky, light, but filling and the first time in a while that I had a nice time cooking.

Thursday

Another yummy yogurt cup from home for breakfast. I love not going to Pret! Food prep makes me feel so together. I actually used to never eat breakfast. I still don’t really get hungry until 9:30 or 10am. When I was doing retail, I worked 1pm to 10pm, on my feet all day. I very quickly learned that having a filling meal before work was non-negotiable. When I transitioned to a desk, I kept having heavy breakfast meals, actually a lot of heavy meals, but I wasn’t on my feet all day anymore. I quickly started gaining weight and got mad at my desk job. Food = happy. Food=special treat! Food = at least I can afford a snack now.

It’s Valentine’s Day. I ate 2 Hershey kisses, realized I don’t like Hershey chocolate that much, then had 2 more. What is that? Plus, free cookies from Insomnia..so.. I ate 1.5 free cookies because free food is very delicious.

Lunch was a Trader Joe’s frozen pasta meal and a fruit cup. I went on a hunt for a v-day present and lunch and thought, “Mmm, I could get a snack since I couldn’t eat all my lunch (onion problems)! I deserve it.” But I was running late getting back from lunch and didn’t have time for snacks. I was fine, of course. I didn’t get hungry throughout the afternoon at all. I was so proud that I didn’t get chips.

Dinner was homemade meatballs and sauce with store-bought linguini. Delicious, nap-worthy, carb-y pasta. Amen.

Friday

I was feeling so good from my mini-workout this morning that I forgot my breakfast at home. I grabbed an egg salad sandwich from Pret.

I’m just now learning to not get total junk every time I eat out.

Chopt salad for lunch. The dressing was spicy? That’s happened to me twice there and I’m like “I don’t want a spicy salad!” Sweetgreen is still bae. I did get a Thai ice tea with bubbles for the afternoon. I didn’t need it. I wasn’t craving it. I just…wanted to buy one. I just wanted to have it. It made for a nice conversation with a stranger in the elevator. I could just tell he was going to talk to me. I sensed “oh this is a guy who has to fill the silence” and dreaded it and then felt awful because it was actually a great exchange over a love of bubbles.

Friday night we head over to a friend’s party. He has my favorite meal, free food. There were free tenders, free burgers, mini spring frees, and potatoes freekas. I proudly didn’t overdo it on food AND talked to people I didn’t know. Introverted extravert for the win.

Saturday

I forgot to write anything down for Saturday, but my memory is sooo good (jk, I had to ask Dan). I tried out our brand new stationary bike this morning for a 30-minute ride, and then was STARVING. I had an orange and some peanuts after my workout. Yeah, I’m real smug about it.

We jump into lunch hard and made meatball subs with leftovers for lunch. I toasted those bitches in the toaster oven and they were awesome. We ate them while watching the documentary about Mr. Rogers and then decided to drink every time we cried tears of joy. That…was effective, I’ll tell you what.

We pulled ourselves together for a trip to Ikea. We went to Ikea on a Saturday. We went to Ikea on a Saturday in Brooklyn. We drove our car to Ikea on a Saturday in Brooklyn. I am alive to tell you about it to that, and believe me, I don’t take that for granted. We were there for a while and by the time we got home, we were ravenous. We hadn’t eaten for about 7 hours. I needed food and a lot of it. But, actually, I didn’t need much, but I was like, yes brain, I need a lot of food. I got the MOST delicious pulled pork sliders and fresh cut fries and it was everything.

Thoughts

I didn’t do anything different this week. I just wrote it down, and reviewing everything now, getting it ready for you, is the most helpful part of this whole process. I know that my eating habits, especially snacking, are so emotionally driven. Writing everything down makes my habits more tangible, and therefore more able to change. Seeing it laid out makes it seem more realistic to rein it in.

What’s your trigger? Share below!

I Did One Thing This Week

Written by

A slow journey to being less of a garbage person, one week at a time. Suggestions welcome (needed). Author: Andrea K. @andreacanhaz

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