_Selfish and Happy
Listening to ESM — Cosmos Vol.2
I have an issue with the concept or idea of selflessness. I’m not suggesting that it is wrong, I am only stating that the interpretation of the concept of selflessness is, how can I say this — bad; for a person. Imagine giving more than you give to yourself? I mean, what will you be left with to give? When you have nothing to give even to yourself, how will you be able to give to others? I get the humanitarian sentiment and its ideals. But — let’s be real.
Don’t get me wrong, sharing is caring. But, you’ve got to admit, sometimes you just don’t have enough to share. Sometimes you only have enough for yourself.
I speak especially for young people, like myself. Most of us are in the humble phase of finding our own feet — barely. And when we do struggle our way to a good stance — eventually, many of us are left with some pretty challenging realities like paying back huge school-tuition loans or taking over some hefty responsibilities back at home.
Irrespective of age, I think it’s very important to learn to realise when we’re in a suitable position to lend a helping hand and when we’re not. Besides, isn’t me helping myself get to a better position to help others the proper right thing to do? I think I’d rather battle through mouthing a few No’s just a little long enough to be able to say a more meaningful and helpful Yes.
I know this may make one lose some popularity among the masses, but that’s alright, because the problem with being a ‘yes-person’ is that you start helping people develop an expectation. That expectation leads people to consider less how inconvenient their needs may be to you and as a result people make a habit of dumping their favours on you, sometimes even without the slightest courtesy of choice. And what that causes is a mild case of dislike (or hate) from you, the giver. And thereafter, spitefulness. And thereafter bad-vibes and bad-mouthing, and thereafter potentially good companionships lost all because you couldn’t be honest about your ability/inability to help. Sigh.
This is how people get to a point where they become assholes and brag about all the ways they’ve helped other people without getting anything from them in return.
Don’t be a dick and say no to every single little favour. All I’m saying is allow yourself the freedom to decide for yourself, and learn to say no when you have to. Doesn’t it feel good to render help when it’s within your own capacity to help? That way you don’t keep tabs on all the favours that life apparently owes you.
Keep it honest, keep it simple. No isn’t always negative.