48 Hours

The best way to determine if and how one will survive in a failed life is the GoFundMe page while the modern Roman Coliseum, your circle of Facebook friends responds with a thumbs up or down for your campaign to survive with some modicum of stability. If things don’t change in the next 48 hours the overwhelming vote is thumbs down. Those who know me are simply tired of my failures. My only family, my own brother wants nothing to do with me even if I have tried to help him. I’m exhausting. Yet I’m alive so have to keep trying. What else can I do?

So as an act of contrition I plan to walk to Los Angeles. I’ve mapped out the route from Reno to Sacramento as a start which should take a few days then try to cool my heels there for a day or two then venture south to my future. It seems to me that L.A. is a good place to be homeless. The weather is great and the social services seem adequate for the likes of me. Of course I plan to write about each day, each experience along the way. It’s crazy but remaining in Reno with its temptations and gambling seems unworkable.

I’m scared of what I’ve made out of my life yet I still hold onto my Moon and Sixpence dream to move to the Philippines and write and live a simple life. A one way ticket to Manila from L.A. is only $377 so there’s that. One thing is certain one week from today I will be on the streets if something dramatic doesn’t happen. I’m afraid of what I deserve. The mob has spoken: Thumbs down.

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