I don’t do nothing well..

So some people saw my Facebook post yesterday. And yes it was super weird.

I finished my homework eight hours early. EIGHT!

I submitted my homework for the week eight hours before the deadline. I didn’t know what to do with myself for the rest of the afternoon. Like what? I’m not sure what to do with myself for that long…

I caught up on my TV shows, redid my fingernails, watched football, just dicked around on the internet, etc. You know, normal things an average adult does on a Sunday afternoon. It was super odd.

I’ve noticed in my life, that I don’t do nothing well. When I first graduated college, I moved on to an internship and a restaurant job. I moved to North Dakota, and was only doing one job at once, plus dance classes, which was never really a job. But I was also doing ceramic work at the art center across the street from the bank I worked at.

Once I started flying, I spent too much time not doing anything at all. That’s why I started school again. I was tired of not being challenged. I needed something to make my brain actually do something. And I’ve learned I need to be prompted to do anything. I need to be held accountable by someone other than myself. I, myself, am not motivated enough to change anything. I need something or someone else to give me stuff to do. I will get nothing accomplished.

Hence why I’ve been paying for a gym membership, and not using it. And no, Mom it’s not too expensive, and no I didn’t sign a contract so I can cancel if I need to. I’ve now decided I’m going to go twice a week, because I can. And I need to. My doctor is also making me. And I haven’t kept my promise to her that I was going to actually work out, because according to her, running through the airport doesn’t count as exercise. Which, by the way, I think is crap. Whatever, doctor. Like you know anything.

Ok, maybe a little.

Which is why, I’ve written it in my schedule to work out. So I have to do it. I’m planning for it. It’s set in pen. Even white out can’t get it out. Ok maybe…

I’m hoping that once I get done with my program, I can stay within the company and work in the communications department and figure out a way to use my new knowledge in the industry. And also, I like the benefits that come with my job. You know, free flights, $37 for Iceland….it’s hard to beat that. But I need something different.

I don’t do nothing well…

Days can be the same, but the material has to be different.

This month I’m mostly teaching recurrent. Which unless you’re in the industry, specifically our airline, we do every two days. So I’m teaching the same thing twice a week just with different people. It doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination. And no creativity. We, as instructors, cannot deviate from the curriculum. we’re supposed to literally read from a script of how to teach the class. Well, at least for the most part. I need something new.

And I’ve found my different in grad school. I know now what I’m supposed to do. This is what I’m supposed to be doing right now. And I’m so happy I made the leap. Whether or not anything comes of this, at least I have that background. I was just talking to another classmate of mine that we lost one of our classmates that we’ve had from the beginning of our program. She couldn’t handle the stress of the program. Granted, it is very stressful and it takes a special person to be able to work full time and go to grad school at the same time. It takes dedication and motivation, which sometimes I don’t have at all…

I wish I did. But I’ve learned so much in the last four and a half months. I need pushing. I need encouragement. And what I’ve gained so far is helping me get there.

I need something to challenge me.

I don’t do nothing well.