love changed you

I can’t let the water wash over me, I am not a strong swimmer. Feet planted in the sand, the tide coming in, my eyes locked on the horizon, I am so small. I am so small, and insignificant, just a speck on the timeline. The water’s starting to rise. The moon is coming out and it will soon be the 53rd night since I noticed. Since I started coming here alone.

Let me tell you how love has changed you.

Your laughter comes from somewhere deep within. So deep, that I could probe for days without scratching that surface. You are no longer anchored, with sunlight glistening under your cheekbones and stardust in your eyelashes. I have seen healing take place upon the paths that tears carved. Your skin glows, as if your father was Zeus and he placed a kiss on your forehead to make your body crackle with light. My feet are planted in this sand but if you were here, I feel like you’d walk upon the waves, climb the stars and take your rightful place among them.

The water is at my chest.

You can ask me why I’m still out here but honestly, the truth and I are estranged and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I look at you and I am angry because I look at me and I am angry. I am angry with the fatigue lining my face. I see pain etched into every expression and my shoulders are slack from the burden of another day without change. I want to float, like you do. I want my soul to shine so bright that I can only peek within me momentarily, my smile warming my innermost cavities. You found love within yourself and since that day, I’ve watched you change. These waters had nothing left for you. I am still searching for myself. So I stand with the sea at my neck, and the taste of salt on my lips yet I don’t know if it’s from the water or my tears.

I will be here every night, until love changes me too.