How I reached 1000 views for the first time on Medium, and overcoming my Imposter Syndrome
Yes. You read it correctly — 1000 views for the first time!
You are probably thinking:
Relax man
It’s only 1000 views.
I mean, don’t many writers here get 1000 views so easily like everyday?
Well, not for me!
After posting several stories, and reaching the 100 followers mark, I’m finally able to say that I’ve reached another psychological milestones on Medium,: 1000 views for the first time!
Only the catch is: it was all the views that I’ve accrued from all my articles in the recent month.
Meaning that, the stats might look totally different for the next month. Hell I may end up with 800 views for the next month for all I know.
But hey, let’s not become a killjoy, shall we!
The fact that I accomplished this numbers is such a rewarding feeling of it oneself (even though for a short while). I get dopamine rush whenever I know people are actually reading my story, and clapping on them.
Simple recipe for happiness if you ask me.
It’s a crazy number (at least for me)
Why I keep insisting this is such a “big deal” numbers for me?
Even though I know most writers here are spoiled with 1000 views almost on every stories they post — let me tell you why!
2 years ago I started my content creating journey with YouTube, posting about crypto contents, chart and which crypto is going to the Mars next (yes I was one of those Crypto guy). I did this fresh out of college. Like any other kids who got their stomach full of 4 years education, shitty professor, and shitty classmates, I thought content creator was the solution for my “millionaires dreams” problem.
Needless to say, as a YouTuber Wannabe, I was obsess. I did everything religiously they told me to do:
- Posted everyday
- Used popular tags
- Promoted my channel everywhere
- Did that for 4 months straight
After 4 months posting everyday without a rest, I could only hope my YouTube Channel, talking about the next big thing in crypto verse would gain significant views and subscriber — but I was wrong.
After more than 80 videos, I only ended up with not more than 400 views, with all the videos combine.
Don’t even start with the subscribers — my subscriber stats stop after the third video🤣. Most subscribers are actually my friends and family who took a pity on my channel 🤣.
I realized that the quality were so bad. The fact that I’m blind and not good with camera setup, means that I can only rely on my webcam and default thumbnail for every videos I post.
I was discouraged. I thought I could become a successful blind Youtuber, but only half way I couldn’t finish the journey. It felt like every time I posted there was only echo chamber waiting at the end.
Now you know why this 1000 views that I’ve received means so much to me. Because it marked the first time ever people are appreciating my work on the internet, and liking it. It also happened organically. Not with the help of my friends who took a pity on me 😀
The Imposter Syndrome
What is the imposter syndrome?
Merriam-Webster defines imposter syndrome as persistence doubt concerning ones abilities or accomplishments, accompanied by fear of expose as a fraud despite the evidence of ones ongoing success.
That is a mouthful, isn’t it.
The way I see it, imposter syndrome is an experience where you doubt yourself so hard, it can risk sabotaging your success.
“I’m not good enough
My writing sucks
No one would read my story
Forget it bro, who do you think you are?”
It could happen to anyone: whether you are a CEO, a-list celebrity, famous author, or a fresh grad like myself who started writing online.
Thus, it’s very natural feeling to have. After all, you see so many good articles, with their top notch grammar, polish writing style — and yet there you are thinking
“am I good enough?”
After all, who wants to read a story from a blind Balinese guy with his mess up English and pictureless writing?
Perhaps not now, please next, thank you.
Overcoming Fear
This limiting belief had been holding me back ever since. I knew deep down I always wanted to write story and share it to the world, but at the same time there were million of excuses kept me from doing just that.
I would often say to myself:
- I need to graduate first
- I need to get better with my grammar first
- I need to read more books first
- I need to wait until Striped is supported in my country first
- I need to wait until I have more experience in life first
When in fact, all I have to do is just to write and hit publish!
So 3 months ago, having sick and tired of my stupid excuses, I wrote my first article on Medium and hit published.
BOOM!
I tried to not give much thought about my grammar, vocabulary, what my friends would think of my story, and other stupid things that I couldn’t really control. The more I worried about that kind of things, the more I would distance myself from creating anything.
Once I hit that “scary publish button”. I immediately felts so relief.
“boy it felt great”
It felt amazing to let out your creation out there in the concrete jungle of the internet, with all the possibilities of being criticized and liked.
It also felt good because I have successfully conquered myself.
Not because I expected that my story would get viral or anything — but because I successfully beat the old me.
I was satisfied because I had tamed my self-doubt, and the feeling of “not good enough).
Great improvement happens when you become better than what you were yesterday — and that was exactly what I did.
Hoping for more Milestones in the Future
“the only person you should be better than, is the person you were yesterday”
With this milestone in hands, obviously, I’m hoping for more of these in the future. No matter how small it is, how insignificant it is for some, they still mean a lot to me. That’s why you got to keep celebrating each of your milestones.
Because if you think about it: there would be no way I could get 1000 views for my story if I do these in real life.
See, I first would have to write my story in a real piece of paper. I then would have to print them for distribution purposes.
Not to mention I would also have to find a good place where people hang around. Oh yes, I haven’t mentioned the part of actually distributing them and getting people to read my story.
And now, how many of those would actually really read my work? Maybe not more than 10.
See?
For this reason, I think Internet is god. It helps me with my scalability problem, especially being blind and anything. So please keep them coming.
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