DELIVERY REPORT FROM BAGHDAD
SEX AND PANCAKES
Dear anti-baghdad
This cold floor is giving me a brain freeze so forgive me if I’m slow. As i write my back is against the door, I’m trying to shut my fears out.
My only fear was ever watching you leave but now you’ve graced me with a never ending unannounced sick leave. You’re sick of me and now you’re leaving.
i wish i could believe it so i could nurse you. My veins are exploding from all this anger and i need to release the pressure.
Call me a pacifist but maybe i am just a narcissist. You see i have never passed up a fist when your wrist ran out of space and i finally understood how Alexander the great felt when earth ran out of space.
Let’s face it, i watched you sharpen that blade daily. You kept on screaming and i echoed “don’t play with sharp objects Hailey”, you would panic, look around and drop the blade so quickly.
Problem is you never checked to see where it landed. Now my tattooed wrist is bleeding, my mind is reading the prescription but i am hallucinating so i just overdose.
Popping pills like they were smarties, i knew you were smart though thinking I’m solving the problem, i turn around and watch you grab a nine, you’re reading the invite and the devil wants to dine.
I’m counting millimeters or feet in my head, if I’m correct, my nine is six and it is deeper than my mind and this depression cuts deeper.
Your talk was cheap, you said you’d fix me but now all those lies, I outgrew you just like my kindergarten t-shirt.
I can hear your heavy breathing from the other side of the door, I feel your broken heart beating through, i tore your heart apart and i can never fix it. I broke your heart and i know i can never mend it.
I wish i could and i would creep through the gaps in these mosaic walls and give you just one morekiss of life. Revive you from the death i injected so deeply into you the day you walked in.
Pain is a prison and i locked you in for all those years and i did not realize you wouldn’t fly if you only heard from my ears. I never wanted to see my baby grow.
I had a picture where i congratulated you for graduating dance school and it was such a commotion but that is why i called you scented commotion.
Oh how i miss your dancing, but now you are leaving and i might never meet that day. I guess i didn’t prepare you for that but why do you leave? How could you leave just like that ?
You watched me pack then you took the early bus. I packed lunch and made punch but you still left anyway.
I remember the first time we met, how we laughed at the holes in my walls when we touched.
Please come back..
You are the aphrodisiac that lit up my cravings. Cravings for your body, the morning after i always made you pancakes
P S I love you
#baghdad
#scentedcoffins
