Listicles have sort of become the norm these days. And in total celebration of them and their unrivaled precision, here are my top 10-something reasons why I don’t use em.
#1) The purpose of a listicle is to tighten the text and give it structure. Longer and nicely formatted texts are impossible to read, so the listicle will become the standard when writing novels.
#2) The listicles are the poetry for the pedantic author who otherwise doesn’t know how to write verse.
#3) Listicles have been deemed as the divine reincarnation of the Holy Text and is too much to handle for some writers (e.g. me).
#π) They have been discovered through serious mathematical ponderings which have undeniably proven the superiority of the listicle over normal text.
#4) [The fourth reason has been censored by the Chinese government for being homophonous to the word Death. I apologize for the inconvenience.]
#5) Listicles prevent the clubbing of baby seals.
#6) The only thing demons fear more than Holy Water is The Listicle.
#6.66) Lucifer has decreed The Listicle to be the most wanted criminal in Hell.
#7) The listicle takes the wheel when Jesus can’t.
#8) Quentin Tarantino is the best friend of The Listicle.
#9) The Listicle is the reason Hitler screamed “NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!”.
#9&3/4) The wizards invented the listicles and now the filthy muggles are using them.
#10) No need for explaining details when you can simply number them and spell them correctly. If you appear smart and knowledgeable, 5 extra points for Griffyndor.
#11) You don’t have to elaborate on the quality of a product, when you can have top ten reasons why you love it.
#11.11) Listicles suck.
There it is, ladies and gentlemen. Tell me which one of the reasons applies to you as well, and maybe tell me a new one. Maybe one day this listicle will reach the 100-something mark. Toodles.
This guy is just obsessed with life. In that life writing is a huge part of it. You may consider following him. If this guy is right up your alley, consider clicking that Follow button somewhere on this site. You know you want to. You know you want to. Brainwash. Whoosh.
