Motivational Quotes For Realistic People
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you tell people on Facebook.
Winners never quit, but quitters have more time to watch TV.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift. That’s why we returned it for store credit.
Two roads diverged in a woods, and I –
I took the one that led to Miami
Because winter is bullshit
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “mobile piss!”
In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really food at heart.
It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, so stop telling me to smile; I’m exercising.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. There’s no point in making someone prove they’re a flesh-eating zombie more than once.
Keep calm and carry a rape whistle, mace and your keys. Also, why are you wearing that skirt, it’s too short.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, good job, you followed comedy’s rule of threes.