Ilana Gordon – Medium

Ilana Gordon

A Woman’s Changing Body

By Male, Republican Lawmakers, For Male, Republican Lawmakers

4 min readSep 9, 2021

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A Woman’s Changing Body

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Ilana Gordon

I’m The Black Hole And I’m Begging You To Please Stop Leaking My Nudes

To Whom It May Concern,

3 min readApr 11, 2019

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I’m The Black Hole And I’m Begging You To Please Stop Leaking My Nudes

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Ilana Gordon

Academy Awards For My Morning Commute

And the Oscar goes to…

3 min readFeb 25, 2019

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Academy Awards For My Morning Commute

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Ilana Gordon

The Emotional State Of The Union

As told by therapy notes

4 min readFeb 5, 2019

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The Emotional State Of The Union

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Ilana Gordon

Wardrobe Essentials For The Modern Woman

Don’t leave home without them!

2 min readNov 1, 2018

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Wardrobe Essentials For The Modern Woman

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Ilana Gordon

#ThrowbackThursday: These Aren’t Just Any Motherfucking Snakes On This Motherfucking Plane

They’re Emotional Support Snakes, Motherfucker

4 min readSep 27, 2018

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#ThrowbackThursday: These Aren’t Just Any Motherfucking Snakes On This Motherfucking Plane

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Ilana Gordon

Mission: Impossible — Everyday Tasks

Your to-do list, should you choose to accept it

3 min readAug 21, 2018

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Mission: Impossible — Everyday Tasks

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Ilana Gordon

Order Of Snackcession

Other Government Positions That Would Be Improved By The Addition Of Food

1 min readJun 8, 2018

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Order Of Snackcession

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Ilana Gordon
in
The Belladonna Comedy

These Aren’t Just Any Motherfucking Snakes On This Motherfucking Plane

They’re Emotional Support Snakes, Motherfucker

4 min readFeb 23, 2018

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These Aren’t Just Any Motherfucking Snakes On This Motherfucking Plane

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Ilana Gordon
in
OMGFacts

You Can Now Stay In Historical Castles For $50 A Night

Sleep in the four-bedroom mansion where Kipling wrote ‘The Jungle Book,’ and more.

5 min readFeb 9, 2018

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You Can Now Stay In Historical Castles For $50 A Night

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Ilana Gordon

Ilana Gordon

Writer of comedy + other things: Input Magazine, The A.V. Club, The Daily Dot, Jezebel, The Takeout, McSweeneys, Reductress, The American Bystander | @IlanaAbby

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