**“Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection.”
— Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions, P. 68 ** This is quite true, considering all the other steps in the AA twelve-steps, have an element of human honesty in them (quite dependent rather). I had to do step one — “we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable” — twice, as the first time, I knew I had a problem with alcohol, but I thought that my life, other than that, was fine. Oh, how wrong I was. God has this way with me, he gives me an opportunity not to bullshit, and then shows me the truth if I still choose to bullshit.
My introduction to the Alcoholics Anonymous fellowship, briefly since I’ve gone through this in previous posts, was in early 2015. I did stop drinking because of a medical condition, and I, wisely, thought that I needed help to stay sober. I did attend a few meetings, and sadly stopped quite shortly — ‘big book’ in hand and some stories, that I thought would never allow me to pick up a drink again in my life. Well, I was wrong, I did pick up a drink in a few months and then I hit my absolute rock-bottom! Fortunately, my family enrolled me, in to a rehabilitation center for treatment, and that’s when I got the opportunity to do my step one again (the detailed reading and understanding of the step; the actual step was taken with my sponsor).
Admitting that we were powerless over alcohol, is the easy part. if one Google’s ‘do I have an alcohol problem’ or similar, more than once, I believe the person deep down knows that something is wrong with them about their drinking or drugging. the unmanageability bit is something that I found hard to admit when I entered the rooms of AA the first time; the second opportunity I got, it was quite clear that my life had become a joke, and completely unmanageable — personally, professionally and emotionally.
Sometimes people, like myself, must get hit hard to learn a lesson, and then they will accept the true nature of the disease called alcoholism or addiction, and their reality. It took me a while, but today I am glad that I got the opportunity to admit the truth to myself; now we can work and move on with a solid foundation for the next steps to sobriety.