the hardest part about being honest is having to confront those bottled, buried, broken pieces you hid from yourself — or at least you thought you did. then, with the pieces, you have to pick them up, being careful not to cut yourself again and risk reopening unsealed wounds. avoidance has been my best friend during this healing process. i’ve become my own knight; protecting myself from harm by any means, eliminating triggers, removing unhealthy anythings. i’ve also been my own gps; redirecting my energy, my time, my focus. this is the part where i will give myself credit for the progress i’ve made. the past six months were traumatic for me. in retrospect, even the good times are tainted. had i had any less faith or strength, i’d be rolled up in a ball like sonic somewhere, strung out on the latest depressant. but i am here — physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally too. and i am actually here — no pretending, no facades. it took a while for me to get to this point, a lot of praying, reflecting and analyzing, but most of all, growing. i’m growing at God’s speed & the pace is comfortable for me. i ain’t perfect, but i’m proud of me. so now, it’s time for the next step: confrontation & release. this is difficult because honesty is vulnerability, but i’m hoping that my experiences will bring healing, not only to me, but to you as well. knowing what I know now would’ve saved me much peace. my plan is for pieces of this series to save pieces of you.