Feeling Empty and Alone in Corporate America? Author/Leader Kyle McDowell Has the Solution

Leadership expert Kyle McDowell, the best-selling author of Begin With We: 10 Principles for Building and Sustaining a Culture of Excellence, remembers staring out of his office window one day, preoccupied with a disquieting thought: he was at the height of his career, yet instead of feeling excited, he was apathetic. “I had led thousands of talented people throughout my career and accomplished nearly every goal put in front of me, but I was disillusioned, wondering what impact I was really having on the world,” he explains. “Worse, sitting outside my office was a team that needed me to provide guidance and inspiration. Although we were delivering results, I still couldn’t escape the notion that I was failing them. Looking back, I think I was much more focused on ‘me’ and my success. But that only resulted in boxing them into a corner, where their creativity and passion were stifled. I just remember thinking, ‘There has to be a better way.’”

He reveals that he also couldn’t escape the memory of one of the last conversations he had with his mother before she lost her fight with cancer. “She was 63 years old and had worked very, very hard for her entire adult life. She was one of the hardest working people I’ve ever known,” McDowell says. “She lay in the hospital bed, looked up at me, and said, ‘It isn’t supposed to be this way. I worked my whole life, and I’m not going to have the chance to smell the roses and enjoy what I worked so hard to obtain — life after corporate America.’ Flashing back to that moment was a big moment for me. I realized I owed more to those I led.”

McDowell says his journey from that moment to becoming an in-demand speaker at conferences and corporations around the globe was driven by the realization that he was part of a growing problem in large companies: a workforce that is disengaged and has one foot out the door the moment they walk inside.

“Let’s back up and really think about what’s going on in corporations today,” McDowell says. “Yes, they are big for a reason: they typically have a great product and/or service that consumers value in one way or another. They fill a need, essentially.”

Yet, as McDowell sat in his chair and looked out at the city, he saw that the strongest corporations in the country are actually failing to achieve their full potential because of ineffective or bad leadership. It always seemed to be about either ‘I’ or ‘them’ — he had never had a leader lead with “we.”

“In order to lead hundreds or even thousands of people, we are told that we must keep ourselves at a distance and perpetuate the Leadership Gap, as I like to say,” McDowell continues. “However, that’s what bosses do, not genuine leaders. When we sign off for the day, we all live in the same or similar areas, shop at the same grocery store. Hell, our kids even play in the same leagues. Those are all ‘we’ scenarios. So, why are we putting up these barriers between leaders and teams at work? But don’t misunderstand, someone must be in charge. There are lines of accountability. But when you approach each and every situation with a ‘we are going to solve this,’ not a ‘how can I get them to solve it’ mentality, you unlock so much more energy, passion, and fulfillment.”

At the height of his career, McDowell turned off the lights in his office and walked away from corporate America. In setting out on his own journey to understand leadership and create a new paradigm, he thought a great deal about the seemingly unmovable gap between leaders and their teams.

McDowell remembers asking himself what would happen if that gap no longer existed. What if a new leadership playbook came to corporations? What might that look like, and how would leaders and teams be impacted?

One night, he was inspired to develop his ideas as he sat alone in a hotel room in Kansas. “I was getting ready to deliver a speech to 50 leaders of my organization, and I thought to myself, ‘How can we be different, and what do we want to be known for?’ ‘We’ dominated my thoughts,” McDowell says. “What if the old idea about ‘I/me/they’ was thrown out, and leaders embraced WE? How would that transform corporate cultures and reignite the passion and energy so many of us lose throughout our career journey?”

He stayed up late that night, crafting the framework for a work culture that would hold leaders and team members equally accountable, foster trust and empathy, and inspire leaders to be authentic. The more he brainstormed, the more his vision came together until he ultimately had The 10 WEs:

1. WE do the right thing. Always.

2. WE lead by example.

3. WE say what WE’re going to do. Then WE do it.

4. WE take action.

5. WE own our mistakes.

6. WE pick each other up.

7. WE measure ourselves by outcomes. Not activity.

8. WE challenge each other.

9. WE embrace challenge.

10. WE obsess over details.

“It was simple, and I wondered how my team would react to it,” he recalls. “But The 10 WEs were our unambiguous rules of the road. Leaders would be deemphasized and more approachable, and everyone, no matter their role, would have a clearly defined way to operate throughout the day. The Leadership Gap would be gone, leading to less confusion, closer work relationships, and more trust between leaders and teams.”

McDowell says his life’s mission is to bring The 10 WEs to corporations across the country so that more corporate leaders can understand the power of principle-based leadership. His book, which is at the top of USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, and Amazon bestseller charts, is the launchpad for deeper conversations about leadership as he coaches executives and speaks to teams around the world.

“Truthfully, I think people are relieved by the idea of WE-centered leadership,” says McDowell. “We have spent so much time acting a part — putting on the facade of perfection — that to take it off and embrace WE feels very natural. It is liberating for leaders to realize that not only can they stop waving the big stick, they can also accomplish more and enjoy each day far more than they ever did. Our work life doesn’t have to be empty anymore.”