Taylor Swift Buys Dad Lunch

WESTCHESTER, NY — Following a month of very public acts of charity, including instances of the Grammy Award-winner hand-wrapping presents for fans and delivering them to doorsteps personally, Taylor Swift bought lunch for Dad on Thursday, sources close to the artist confirmed.

The “Blank Space” star, who reportedly allowed Dad to eat “wherever,” sat opposite her father at a suburban New York Chili’s for nearly an hour, eyewitnesses claim.

“I thought I was going to burst into tears,” claimed Linda Swardson, waitress. “She just keeps giving and giving. That man has done nothing for her. Nothing. He doesn’t deserve that sweet, sweet girl. Get me in a room with him,” said Swardson.

The “very big” lunch, purchased in full by singer-songwriter and New York Tourism Ambassador Swift, delighted Dad to no end.

“I’m always just glad to get to spend some time with her,” said Dad, 57. “She’s so busy these days! And who am I? Shit, that’s who. I’m shit, I’m shit.”

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