Best Worst Ideas Presents: Chris Hinkle with “Baywatch Nights: MORNING LIGHT”

Hey, this is Ross Morrison and I’m your host of “Best Worst Ideas,” the interview show (blog? future podcast?) where I examine friends’ and creators’ hilariously terrible ideas and try to help fix them.

Tonight, we have Chris Hinkle, who is a long time friend to the show, and the brilliant inventor/designer of some seriously cool tech stuff that we all use like drones and HBO NOW.

Also, he has come up with more than one absolutely, horrifyingly bad idea, so I’m sure this won’t be his last appearance.

ROSS: So, Hinkle, I know you have a ton of Best Worst Ideas hiding in a nondescript safe deposit box somewhere in Laguardia. Which one do you want to start with?

HINKLE: Baywatch Nights: MORNING LIGHT.

ROSS: That’s your worst idea? What is it? It seems recursive, like just reruns of original Baywatch?

HINKLE: Well, it’s a reboot.

And, it’s a follow-up to Baywatch Nights.

ROSS: A reboot of Baywatch Nights … which was showing us what Hasselhoff’s Baywatch character was doing at night … but now we find out what else happens?

HINKLE: Right, the original was all about what happens “after the sun goes down.” This series asks what happens after the sun comes up again?

ROSS: I have forever been curious about how David Hasselhoff’s character got any sleep between Baywatch and Baywatch Nights. Now we’re adding a third shift in the early morning? Mind=Blown. I need to see this. I would 100% green light this, but I have a few notes.

HINKLE: Nice!

Lemme hear your notes.

ROSS: First, we need an overcomplicated intro that lasts three minutes and explains the premise, but not from Hasselhoff’s point of view, but from the POV of the (likely unknown) 1st lead actress. Like in the sixth season of Doctor Who when Amy Pond companion-splains the entire premise of the show. So, we kind of see the premise from her eyes as she gets involved. She’s the audience surrogate.

HINKLE: We could make that work.

Someone like Courtney Thorne-Smith?

Check out her role as Natalie Stockwell in her 1998 movie.

ROSS: Ah! She would be a massive get. You’re talking about the Carrot Top star-making vehicle, “Chairman of the Board,” which was immortalized in that classic episode of Conan with Norm MacDonald, are you not?

HINKLE: Yes, that’s why I chose her.

ROSS: That is excellent casting.

Moving on, in this day and age, you kind of have to tool a tv show concept depending on the network it lands on. There will be a big difference in the final product depending on whether it airs on … say … HBO vs. Tru TV.

HINKLE: I’m thinking QVC.

ROSS: What? QVC? Oh, wait, I heard they’re actually looking for original scripted. We could totally make it work. I know people there. I’ll make some calls.

HINKLE: So, in “Baywatch Nights: MORNING LIGHT” … like on the lifeguard stand, they’re selling cubic zirconia ankle bracelets and knockoff designer toe rings? But, you have to call quick, because supplies won’t last!

ROSS: I still don’t believe this is your Best Worst Idea. It makes too much sense.

HINKLE: And when they rescue a drowning victim, they remark how that the folks at home can also be the proud owner of this deluxe life preserver for three small payments of $49.95.

ROSS: Product placement. Excellent. We can make it fun like 30 Rock and The Colbert Report did.

HINKLE: Did I mention home flipping?

ROSS: No, you did not.

HINKLE: Yeah, they flip project homes during off hours too.

ROSS: (gasps) Can the homes all be underwater dwellings? I am even more sold on this concept.

“Baywatch Nights: MORNING LIGHT: Underwater Flip” coming this Fall to QVC.

HINKLE: Love that title.

ROSS: Likewise. Man, I feel like we fixed this Best Worst Idea really quickly. Do you have others?

HINKLE: Yes.

ROSS: Excellent. Let’s save it for a future episode. I feel like you’re going to be the Alec Baldwin on SNL of Best Worst Ideas. Maybe even the Justin Timberlake.

Another question that just occurred to me. In season 2 of Baywatch Nights … they shifted/retooled the show (drastically) to become a sort of analog to the X-Files.

Would you bring in similar supernatural elements to Baywatch Nights: MORNING LIGHT: Underwater Flip? Or is it more about selling jewelry on QVC?

HINKLE: hm.

I’d have to consider that carefully…

It’s a very much revenue-focused project.

ROSS: Understood. Maybe we could strike a compromise, and sell some spooky jewelry for Halloween? So we do one Halloween episode of Baywatch Nights: MORNING LIGHT: Underwater Flip as a nod to the original Baywatch Nights’ 2nd Season where it got all spooky? I think we can totally work that in.

HINKLE: Now we’re cooking with gas!

ROSS: Indeed.

So now, instead of a reboot of Baywatch Nights except it happens in the morning, It’s a sequel to Baywatch Nights that plays during the sliver of dawn between Baywatch Nights and the original Baywatch, and also is sort of spooky, and you can buy everything you see on QVC.

And THAT’S how you turn a Best Worst Idea into a Best Best Idea. I’d like to thank Chris Hinkle for his time and brilliance.

Plugging Time …

ROSS: Is there anything you want to plug while you’re here, Chris? Any upcoming projects?

HINKLE: I’d like to remind everyone out there to spay and neuter their pets.