I know I am selfish. Honestly I like being selfish. People try to make you feel bad for looking out for yourself but that’s what your supposed to do! It’s literally in our DNA to preserve our life the best way possible. To say that I shouldn’t enjoy looking out for myself because it might cause other people’s lives to be a little miserable is in its self selfish of Society.
I feel like I’m rambling now. Point is I’m selfish and I enjoy it, I know when not to cross the obnoxious/conceded line. I think everyone needs to be like this. There are times when being selfish is the only thing that gets me up in the morning. Knowing that I’m going to do something for myself, to make me happy, it’s fantastic!
What started this whole thing is a person in my life told me that I was entitled. Which is pretty funny to me because I honestly think they’re way more entitled than me. I mean I know I was spoiled when I was a kid, don’t get me wrong, but not now. No, and if I am I spoiled myself. I don’t want much from people, mainly respect, but for some reason that’s the thing that makes me the most spoiled. How dare I ask you to treat me in the same respect that you demanded I treat you! Amazingly, most days I let it go, chalk it up to them having a bad day and needing a punching bag. Now as I stare in the mirror thinking about the night before, looking at my verbal bruises in the mirror wondering how in the hell did I get here, I swear I’m no longer letting that shit fly.
So if you’re reading this and thinks this applies to you (abuser/abused) know this, when the day comes that the person (you/them) no longer takes the crap being thrown at them, better hope that they have the discipline, will, or desire to stop at just defending themselves. I know that for me that will not be the case. Should the day come that I decide to fight back, just know I shall hold no punches, nor will I regret my actions. I am fully aware that consequences will come, I have prepared for them and will not stop them. I have a whole lot to say, and no matter how you react to it, you will hear my cries of anguish.