It was Mothers day this Sunday. A day we all celebrate our own mothers and perhaps other mothers who are dear to us. Thanks to President Woodrow Wilson we have a day earmarked on our calender's to celebrate the most intimate relationship we all have in this world, that between a mother and her child. Its a bond that we both didn’t choose but happened, call it the grace of God or hands of destiny, our relationship was perhaps predetermined by the cosmic forces, how else do we explain being born in a particular family and to a specific woman, of all there is in this wide big world.
Whatever be the reason just as the child, so do the mothers. Its this event in her life that perhaps alters her whole life as a person. Every child she bears makes her a new woman, it enriches her perspectives of the world- her attitude to life, values of truth, morality, justice, sacrifice, forgiveness, responsibility towards her own, aspirations in life, dreams and not the least, her health and wealth. While the first childbirth is a kind of metamorphosis of a carefree lass into a mature woman, each further births chisels the woman into a wholesome human being. Its one of the most thrilling experiences that a female can ever go through in life. Every day of the nine months she carries another life in her womb, is an adventure unparalleled.
Yet, how many women go through these days, fully aware of all that's changing within her, permanently both on physical and mental planes? How many women take time to understand all about motherhood before taking on that role? Hardly few, for most its an assignment they never asked for, or a contract they never signed on fully aware of all the changes it needs them to make in their lives. The few who plan and prepare well for this journey though, find that they were not really able to cope up with the challenges the role of a mother throws upon them.
Every child she bears makes her a new woman, it enriches her perspectives of the world- her attitude to life, values of truth, aspirations in life, dreams and not the least, her health and wealth
Yes, mothering isn’t a task that comes with its own DIY kit or better still even their own mothers can only advise, its for each mother to find her own path to being a successful mother. Each child is unique and so to the demands of motherhood is specific to each child. Over the years as both the mother and child grow old, they often find a middle path, of understanding each other and their idiosyncrasies too. They both mature as time progresses, each might call themselves successful in that adventure most often.
Who then is a successful mother? Is she someone who took all the time she had caring for her kids, put aside her career, her dreams and aspirations as an independent human being and raised her kids to become well nourished, well built, beautiful adults with all the paraphernalia of success in the modern world? Or, is she someone who raised her kids with the help of others, put them in creches and with nanny’s, managed her career and home with equipoise or tried her very best to do so, spent time and energy with her children just a little more than with her spouse, friends or on her career? Even this mother does raise children who can be labeled as successful adults in the society, and sometimes that happens more with this group than the former. Who then of these two groups of women would be deemed as good mothers?
If I were to take a call on this, perhaps I would say none. The reason? I will tell you in a bit of time.
In making a judgement upon that, lets each look at our own families, our communities and the world at large. Its not only the mother who is finally responsible for the character, the qualities, personality and the attitudes of her children but we can’t deny one fact, that of all the people who mold our lives, its perhaps she who has that special ability to convince us and change our behaviors. Moreover, all of us in this world, basically we all are some woman's child and so the whole world is indeed shaped by mothers to a great extent. We all owe our lives to a lady who took time to carry us within her womb for nine months and then nourishes carefully until each of us were able to fend for ourselves. That’s a basic fact, none here can say I owe nothing to my mother. We all do,while acknowledging the extent of her contributions may vary.
Its a tragic act though that at the end of her life, when her youth vanishes, the harsh whip of life bears upon her frail physique, with grey hairs,blurry vision, hard of hearing, creaking joints and heath that seems to come to a grinding halt any moment soon- when the bubbly young lass who caressed us when we cried of fear,hunger,pain and just for affection sake, who showed us the moon and stars, sang lullaby to put us into dreams, taught us language and manners, shaped our life, that woman ,when she turns old finds herself in some asylum or hospice, alone with her wonderful memories if Alzheimer hasn’t taken even that away, moaning and groaning all by herself,medications and housing may be great but has no own to share her day or nights, the children she raised are all busy with their careers, raising their own children and amassing luxuries- not once thinking their mothers plight is whats awaiting them too.
So then, the basic question that I am raising here is, what’s all this celebration about? The “Mothers day” and all those cakes and flowers? What have we, as a humanity lost, misplaced or discarded as we all slogged along on this path of material success and artificial transient happiness? Where did that bond, the eternal divine relationship between a mother and her child break, did it happen sometime in the centuries past and we have not cared to realize it and repair it if possible, or did it happen now, in the very moment we are reading this?
Can we each ask, when was the last time we spent time, uninvited, with all our heart and mind, with our mothers? Not because it was her birthday or any special day but just an ordinary day? There perhaps is the answer to the question ‘what attributes would make a great mother’ and I say with much experience that its a mother who has been able to keep that bond of love and sacrifice unbroken,untainted,uncompromised, pure and precious all through her life.
It happens when she begins this journey into motherhood with a full heart, thankful for the grace to whatever Almighty she prays, for having bestowed upon her the responsibility to rear and care the progeny of her mate and through that of the ancestors lineage.
It happens when she never looks at that bond as a challenge, never spent time reading books and kits to become a successful mother but relied on her innate strength, her intuitions and draws upon her love for life and so for the whole world, using every shred of her experience to bring up a loving & caring human being. It happens when she passes values of love, forgiveness, good behaviors, concern for life in any form, compassion, kindness and love for own nation and this beautiful Earth -passes all these values to her children. It happens when she stops her children from voicing and cultivating hate, greed, violence, religious or political fanaticism , abuse of women, addictions, discrimination against and loathing for those who aren’t placed as themselves in the society. It happens when mothers all over the world love being a ‘mother’, take that role with passion and never ever consider the children as just another baggage in their lives.
Happy motherhood and many many happy Mother day, let there be in our lives!
Dear reader, while I thank you for reading this piece, I must tell you, your valuable thoughts and feedback is an invaluable asset, together we all can look towards giving our mothers the precious place they should hold always, all across the globe.
Do write out your opinions here,
Pic credits: Wikimedia Commons,Pixabay Free photos