“The Side of Him I Never Knew”

The story behind a complicated relationship

Montclair State student Sydnie Ginges, taken on September 20, 2016 — Photo by I’neisha Shanklin

By I’neisha Shanklin


I should have seen it coming. I should have known that it was too good to be true, because nothing good ever comes my way. But I didn’t.

I was as clueless as everyone else, or so I thought. Sitting in my room looking back, I realized the signs were all there but I didn’t see them because I was blinded by my love for him. And in that moment, I realized that I had just lost my boyfriend to another man.

When Micha and I first met in gym class my senior year of high school, I was very intrigued with what was in front of me. He was very down to earth, open, and could just talk for hours. That was one of the things I loved most about him, how comfortable he was around me. Not too long after we met, we started dating and then eventually we became a couple.

A couple of months later, Micah introduced me to his friend Jay, who he had known some years prior to when we met. I should have known then that they were not just regular friends, and that they were “very good” friends. The three of us began to hang out more but it was like I wasn’t even there. Micah and Jay liking each other had never crossed my mind because boys will be boys.

Some days Micah and I would hang out during school or he would walk me to class, and people would stare, laugh and give us these odd looks. It was like they knew something I didn’t know. At the time I didn’t pay it no mind, but I should have because maybe then it wouldn’t have hurt so bad. As time went on, he started acting weird and I became suspicious.

One day I asked him if he was cheating on me with another girl and what he said next really blew my mind. He said to me, “no I’m not but since we are on that topic, I have been involved with another man.” That was the moment my world came crashing down.

Despite everything that he has put me through, we still remained friends in the end. Even though it was foolish, I stayed with him to protect him because I loved him. I knew that if the rest of the school had caught on to what happened, they would rip him apart. But in the end, everyone either already knew or they eventually found out.

Now I will forever be known as the girl whose boyfriend left her for another man.

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