Masafumi Tries Catholicism

This will be a weekly series following one Masafumi Ushikawa and journey through several world religions.

It was a Wednesday.

Masafumi was walking around downtown, when he noticed the ashen marks on some peoples forehead. The people were coming out of a nearby church.

Masafumi noticed how content the people were. He then remembered it was Ash Wednesday.

Masafumi always held a high regard for people who demonstrated their faith so openly. He looked around some more and noticed some of the people with ashen marks counting beads. Most of those people counted softly under their breath as they did so.

Masafumi was spiritually starved. He had read the Bible, the Koran, the Veddas, the Zend-Avesta, the Sutras, several Haddith, the Kojiki, The Tao Te Ching, and even some Wiccan texts. Still, he hungered for existential truth.

Masafumi was in no way a superstitious man. After all, probability and superstition are two very different things. Probability draws from rational deduction, whereas superstition is rooted in assumption and fear. Masafumi had resolutely decided not to dismiss the phenomena he directly experienced as mere coincidence. Masafumi felt it most foolish to shut his mind down and limit his life experience to be defined by what the religion of Academic Science permits to be ‘real’.

Simply put, Masafumi knew there was more to existence than what one could merely see or readily conjure to validate wasted grant money.

Masafumi went into the Cathedral and sought out a priest.

Father Grant Woodlawn met him in the rectory.

“Father,” Masafumi started. “I’m curious.”

“Yes, my child?” Father Woodlawn responded.

“Despite Jesus himself saying to call ‘no man your Father,’ why does the Church insist that its parishioners do just that?”

“Good question. You see, the Catholic Church has learned to use the Bible as more of a set of guidelines. When Jesus began the practice of Apostolic Succession, he charged Peter with keeping the keys of the Kingdom, making him the defacto first Pope. The Universal Church has carried on that tradition, and as Peter, Paul, John, and the rest stood in the place of Christ in terms of shepherding the flock, we priests do the same, in the manner of Christ. We are Christ’s channel and representative on Earth, and since Jesus is God manifest in the flesh, we shall be called ‘Father’ for as long as we carry his cross in our diocese.”

Masafumi chewed this over for a time.

“Ok then, what about John 1:1 and the original Greek?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, in the Koine Greek, which the Bible was originally penned in, there are four words for love: Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape. In John 1:1, there are three words for God, the last of which precludes the definite article. When translated directly to English, you get that definite article, ‘a’, before the final word for God, rendering the end of that verse as: ‘and the Word was a god.’ How come the Revised Standard version discounts this translation?”

“Now there’s an excellent question. For that answer, I’m going to have to ask you to rely on faith. Maybe pray and do some meditation. Soon you’ll come to see that the language doesn’t matter, it’s what’s in your heart. Is Jesus God Almighty? The Catholic Church follows the Nicean Creed, and therefore we teach that Jesus is God, an equal part of the Trinity.”

“Ok, but what about Odoacre and the Arians? How could the Church adopt a policy that was proscribed by only 10% of the Christian Bishops summoned for the council of Nicea?”

“Constantine oversaw that council, and his word was law. After hours of argument, he cast the deciding vote, and the Creed was born.”

“Despite the low turnout, and the text’s own dispute of the reasoning?”

“Indeed.”

“Ok, and then it spread across Europe due to Clovis I and his adoption of the Nicean Creed at the behest of his wife?”

“Yes. You certainly know your history.”

“I have questions that most people are afraid to answer.”

“I see.”

“Well Father Woodlawn, thank you for this talk. You may see me at Mass or Vespers from time to time.”

“I certainly hope so, would you like an ashen cross?”

“No, thank you.”

Masafumi didn’t have the heart to bring up the Church’s Babylonian similarities and practices as outlined by Alexander Hislop. The colors, the cross itself and its connection to Tamuz, the beads, the confessions, the infant baptism, the general esoteric mystery carried out at each service. All tableau and behaviors conducted by the priests, bishops, and the pope himself could be traced back to pre-Christian Middle Eastern practice.

Father Woodlawn was a very polite and respectful man. Why he, and thousands of others, would carry on a practice they know to be misaligned with the holy writ they portend to live by was very puzzling indeed.

Masafumi decided to practice as much of the religion that he was comfortable with for a time and create his own general impression of the mindset of the adherents.

Masafumi went to Thursday Vespers and quietly observed.

Father Woodlawn swayed around the altar, waving incense and chanting in Latin.

When the ceremony ended, all in attendance crossed themselves. Masafumi did likewise. A line formed for the confessional booth. Masafumi got in line. When it was his turn, Masafumi found himself at a loss for words. He’d waited for over 45 minutes to get in, but with all the beautiful masonry and stained glass and tableau, he forgotten what he had wanted to confess.

“Just let the words come, my child.”

“Father forgive me for I have… sinned? No I haven’t. At least no consciously…”

“‘All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’…”

“Ok, but how?”

“You were drawn here, my child. Think deep. It will come.”

“I… I… when I was 7, I stole a girl’s hair band and snapped it. I put it back, but she bawled her eyes out when she found it. I said nothing. And hid.”

“There, see? Stealing, destruction of property, cowardice. You are forgiven. Say the Lord’s Prayer three times, and do 7 Hail Mary’s.”

“Seven whats?”

“Hail Mary’s. It’s a prayer you repeat.”

“But at Matthew 6:7–10 Jesus explicitly states to not mindlessly repeat prayers for absolution…”

“Indeed it does. But remember our earlier conversation, the Bible is a set of Guidelines. We are practicing Christianity by doing what the Lord reveals as acceptable.”

“So in other words, the Church’s decisions via Papal Bull, say, for example, supersede the actual words of Christ?”

“In a way, yes. Now there are others behind you and a set of prayer cards outside this confessional. Go with God. Say the prayers. Give it a shot, and see what happens, my child.”

Masafumi left the confessional and collected a prayer card. He elected to say the prayers, as prescribed, and ‘see what happens’.

Before he departed from the Church, Masafumi turned and looked at the immense Jesus on the cross that presided over the apse and crossing. Jesus looked like he was in intense pain, but simultaneously optimistic about the future. Again, Masafumi told himself to see this through, as personal experience was the best determiner for understanding in his life.

Masafumi said the prayers.

Masafumi felt the smallest sensation of relief.

But was it real?

Was the sensation an abstract belief, all his own, or was it a genuine easing of his anguish? Was he even in anguish about the broken hair band? Sure, the girl didn’t deserve it, and yeah it was a rather snide thing to do and then conceal. But was it really a sin that warranted forgiveness from one of God’s chosen representatives?

Masafumi decided to return for Communion on Sunday and let these questions simmer in his mind until then.

On Sunday, Masafumi woke to watch the Cleveland Browns continue their dominance of the AFC North.

After a hearty breakfast, Masafumi walked down to the Cathedral. The parishioners were already queued for the wafer and wine. Masafumi took his place in line and waited to kneel.

The wafer was light and airy. The wine, full bodied and dry.

Masafumi then went and sat in a pew, allowing his thoughts bubble up and ruminate.

Did the Eucharist really transform into actual flesh and blood? Why would God charge the people genetically responsible for the appearance of Jesus to explicitly not ingest blood, and then turn around and demand they eat his own blood? Why in Acts does Paul say that all Christians must abstain from blood if they are really to take the Eucharist, and with it, transubstantiation? The wine tasted like wine. Good wine. The wafer tasted like an afterthought. Masafumi had tried black pudding before and hated the weighty feeling it gave him. These items, given in the name of God and Christ, felt ordinary and ritualistic, but nothing even close to transformative.

Puzzling indeed.

He pictured St. Peter’s basilica in Rome. He thought of the Pope and recorded history’s lack of evidence regarding the first three popes. He thought about the wealth of gold and secreted history contained in the Vatican. Most of all, he wondered what the whole show was about. If these men and women were the New Babylonians, chanting and venerating ‘Jesus’ while really praising and serving whomever, what is their end game? Is this all just to keep people busy? Are the canonized and beatified miracles real?

Some time ago Masafumi settled on the position that belief is the assumption of knowledge. His grandmother would always say “I think it’s snowing,” or “I believe it to be snowing outside,” without ever once looking out of the window. She would say this given the time of year, the time of day, her age and relative and experience in living in cold weather, etc. but still, her statement indicated an assumption of knowledge. It was only when he put on his snow clothes and took to her vast backyard that Masafumi would receive the confirmation of her assumption, thus verifying it as knowledge .

Masafumi now tried to apply that same line of reasoning to Catholicism. There were priests, nuns, and ordinary parishioners that would swear on their lives they saw an angel, spoke directly to Jesus, or experienced some other Divine interaction. Who was Masafumi to deny or disprove, when there existed no burden for the others to prove their experiences? Their abstract beliefs were theirs, their experiences were theirs, and theirs alone.

If counting beads, confessing actions that are deemed sinful, eating a little cracker with some wine, and showing your face twice a week made one feel closer to whatever they identified as God, then so be it. Masafumi reasoned that, as long everyone was a willing participant, then he was in no position to judge. Now of course Masafumi thought of colonization, Colombus’ actions in the New World, and the rampant pedophilia, but what organization on this Earth can truly say they are free from any and all ills or illegal activity? While this line of reasoning does not excuse or justify the crimes committed, both legally and morally, it objectively states that all tools used for the so-called ‘betterment of mankind’ are at least a little dirty.

Masafumi, satisfied with his experience, went home to watch the Sunday Night game.

On the way back to his loft, he thought of Christmas and Easter having their roots in pagan Europe. He thought of Saturnalia, Bacchanalia, Oester, and the other original celebrations that the Universal Church absorbed and repainted. Again, if it made someone feel close to God, or whatever, what business was it of his to denounce the practice? When people get together to worship, who was Masafumi to steal their joy and force his concept of God onto them?

Masafumi made a space on his wall by his front door. Here he would hang the various charms, amulets, idols, and tableau he planned on collecting through his journey into religion. For now, he placed rosary beads on the lone nail that stuck out.

Masafumi had tried Catholicism and came away with a deeper appreciation for faith as a whole.

In the end though, this particular experience only fed into his current adopted ethos: everyone is right, and everyone is wrong all at the same time. All stories are true, and all stories are false at the same time. It is this notion that creates the harmonic existence necessary for all humans across the earth; the existence that we call life.