“We’re More Connected Than We’ve Ever Been, So Why Do I Feel So Alone?”

Mark Manson, the author of the New York Times Best Seller “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck,” raised an argument a while back that the reason why issues like depression, loneliness, and other mental health topics have become a popular discourse and a public affair in modern society is because of our lack of focus on survival and basic needs as a race.

In earlier times, humans were focused on the day-to-day challenges of survival.

Their minds were preoccupied with finding shelter, food, and protection from the Earth and her elements. This constant struggle left little room for introspection or rumination on emotional issues.

Let’s not even go too far to prove that point.

Up until the 19th century, communication and healthcare were either nonexistent or a luxury, only available to the privileged few. People lived in constant fear of illness, injury, or violence.

Another reference to this point is a joke from the multi-talented artist Donald Glover in his Comedy Central stand-up special ‘Weirdo.’

He recounted a conversation with his father who believed that the 21st century was the absolute worst time to be alive. Disagreeing with his father, Glover jokingly insisted that the 21st century was, in fact, the best time to be alive. He illustrated this point with a joke, pointing out the contrast using historical challenges. He joked that just a few hundred years ago, someone could storm your village or clan in the middle of the night, kill you, rape your wife, and sell your kids to slavery, and people would just reply with, “Well, what did you expect? It’s nighttime!”

And sincerely, it was that bad!

These existential threats kept their minds occupied, leaving little time for dwelling on emotional distress.

But our modern world has transformed our lives dramatically and made it so much better for us to survive.

We are now more connected than ever before, yet we also experience intense levels of isolation and loneliness.

With access to abundant food, safe shelter, and advanced medical care, we no longer face the same survival challenges as our ancestors. This sense of freedom from immediate threats has, in a weird way, created a void in our lives, leaving our minds to wander and dwell on so much, and inevitably, regressive thoughts and emotions. They say just give the mind some time alone and it will fabricate problems — both real and imagined.

The constant connectivity of modern life, while providing convenience and access, also feeds into our tendency to overthink and spiral into negative thought patterns.

We are bombarded with information and stimuli 24/7, giving our minds little rest from the constant chatter. This relentless input can heighten feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and dissatisfaction.

Manson’s observation highlights the irony of our modern existence.

We live in the most advanced era of human history, yet we struggle with unprecedented levels of emotional distress.

I honestly find it hilarious.

So what is the solution to this problem?

When I came up with the idea to write on this topic, I didn’t think there was an answer to this problem. But after a conversation with one of my best friends, he made me realize that the answer was obvious:

Do away with technology. Go outside.

Ironically, social media and the internet as a whole have deprived us of what we are at our core, social beings.

We find ourselves surrounded by screens, constantly connected yet feeling more isolated than ever. The irony is glaring — technology, designed to bring people together, has unintentionally driven a wedge between us.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, and, like I said earlier, it’s comical!

Most times, the antidote to our emotional distresses, lies in embracing nature and face-to-face interactions.

There are tons of research on brain science that warn us about the negative impact the internet has on our brain and psyche.

The constant load of information and stimuli, the constant comparison fueled by social media — all of it can be set aside by stepping outside and engaging in the real world.

In case you haven’t found the humor in this yet, allow me to reiterate:

The very tools that were intended to enhance our social connections have left us feeling more alone.

Social media, with its carefully curated snapshots of others’ lives, can breed envy and a sense of inadequacy (direct shots at everybody on LinkedIn!).

The internet, with its endless scroll of news and opinions, can increase anxiety and discontent.

When Ed Sheeran went several years without a phone, I felt like he was just being “woke”, and I remember back then, he was one of the preachers of how we’ve become spectators in our own lives, passively consuming a digital reality that often deviates from the richness of the human experience, but I get his POV now.

And so the solution to our modern dilemma is to unplug, step outside, and rediscover the joy of real-world connections.

Donald Glover once said that he believes the internet robs us of moments, and if you think about it, it’s true! We literally move from one experience to another by simply scrolling or swiping on people’s updates/posts.

What I’m trying to say with this piece is that we should start reclaiming our time, attention, and emotions from the digital abyss.

This is a call to prioritize authentic experiences over virtual ones and to recognize that true fulfillment comes not from the glow of screens but from the warmth of human connection. (Very cheesy, I know. I couldn’t help it! ;) )

I’d like to share with you one of my resolutions to improve my social skills:

It involves me encountering or interacting with at least one new person every day.

This works for me, as I’m not a social person and I may not have the energy for a full interaction on certain days. Baby steps.

So a casual evening stroll on my street can contribute to achieving my goal because I can stay in my hostel for days.

Set a schedule that suits your circumstances and preferences, because only you know what will work best. But let the key takeaway from this piece be an encouragement to take active steps toward improving your social interactions.

May God help all the introverts out there!

P.S. 1

I was going to call this piece “Put Away Your Phone, Now!”

But I have been told that my words have a serious effect on people.

Rumors of the power of my words are still talked about in hushed tones on this Beyonce’s internet.

And I don’t want you to drop your phone like right now, ‘cos how would you appreciate this absolute gem of a message? Yunno?

P.S. 2

As you may already know, for the most part of this year, Ed Sheeran has resurfaced on the internet.

Personally, I think he has built enough stamina to resist getting addicted or affected negatively by it, and that’s where I want to be, man!

Please clap this post as many times has you can! (The limit is 50)

And leave comments to let me know what you think about this piece.

Thank you for reading.