Fear of Success
As the new year begins and we each resolve to do better, to be better, to start afresh, it's worth taking a moment to reflect.
There’s no denying that most of us will have great expectations, but in reality, life will take its toll and we will resume the status quo, justifying the reasons why we fell back into our old habits.
Thinking back in my life, I've always outwardly had the best of intentions, I've wanted to do the right thing, but I fail.
Failure is subjective, irrespective of how well we fool the world into believing that all is well and justify our lack of success by redefining the 'bar' to the actual outcome - the only one we're truly fooling is ourselves.
The reasons why are endless and probably the best demonstration of our creativity:
- The time isn’t right
- The conditions are not appropriate
- I don’t have the resources
- What will others think
- ...the list continues.
But if I’m honest, I’m scared of not meeting my own expectations and so, it seems easier not to try than to fail - I bury my head in the sands of life.
Perceived as a villain, Duryodhan, the eldest Son of the Kuru dynasty in the Mahabharat said:
Janami dharmam na cha me pravrutthih janamyadharmam na cha me nivrutthih |
(I know what is dharma (=righteousness), yet I cannot get myself to follow it! I know what is adharma, yet I cannot retire from it!)
Within each of us, there resides a Duryodhan, an outwardly confident person, who, whilst understanding the difference between right and wrong, chooses not to be vulnerable enough to address his shortcomings because of fear of bruising his ego.
Of course, this fear is baseless as ultimately, like the phoenix, by burning our ego, we will rise stronger, better and more in tune with our ideal self, the person we know we can and want to be.
In the year past, I discovered that, the fear of failure may be difficult to overcome, but not impossible, for this I’ve decided to take a three pronged approach (Click the links) :