A graceful way to handle unpleasant experiences
When I was younger I always knew wholeheartedly that karma had my back. Or even better said: God had my back. This comforting thought has helped me in many ways. It has been the key for not holding a grudge or hating anyone. It has helped me to keep pure thoughts and live my life free from negative thinking.
My perfect “karma would always have my back” thinking started fading when I realized that sometimes it seems people can get away with what they do. Although we do not know what a certain person will face in 5 or 10 years.
Not all people are as kind as they seem. Some people can intentionally hurt you.
It made me see the real tough world.
I’ve learned to deal with it eventually. Most of the time when people treat you unkindly it has to do with their own insecurities. They throw those negative feelings at you, making you feel you are the problem, while it is more about them. No time for that anymore, I’ve learned to keep my chin up.
However, as strong as we sometimes may seem, we all are human. Sometimes when people hurt us we want them to feel the same pain. We don’t want to wait for 5, 10 or 20 years to see how karma would get back at them, because our pain is real.
A while ago my parents were watching a television show. It was about people sending in their questions and then a scholar would answer from a religious perspective. Regardless of how much I love God, I sometimes don’t want to hear that I should just leave the matter to Him. It sometimes feels the same as advising a depressed person to pray more, while he might benefit from therapy as well.
But I decided not to be narrow-minded and give it a go. The question came from a person who asked if we were allowed to wish bad for a person who had treated us badly.
“When you wish bad for a person, it’s like negative energy you’re releasing. That negative energy becomes like a butterfly, seeking a home. When the other person turned out right in the end and not as bad as you thought, the butterfly you released will come back to you. It is better to leave things as they are, trusting God, the scholar replied.
The last phrase was what I expected to hear, but the first part of his answer was truly beautiful to me. He replied it with such grace, that I took notes and I still cherish the idea with me.
In life this is true. I’ve experienced it many times.
Here are a few examples:
- When a former supervisor was being unjust to many of the team, he eventually got moved to another department in a much unexpected way. No one saw that one coming.
- When a high school teacher was somewhat jealous of my friend and me for our high ambitions to graduate in that particular year, she started treating our scripts differently from the rest. We knew we had a problem when she gave us intentionally low grades. She would repeatedly say it was impossible for my friend and me to graduate due to a high work load. So we made our own plan, starting to treat that teacher so friendly that she could not ignore our hard work. Eventually we placed our trust in God and we both graduated gracefully.
It can still be difficult to trust the process.
In those moments we have to remind ourselves that holding grudge within will eventually exhaust us. It stops us from experiencing new adventures.
It keeps us looking back to the past, while the future can be so much more beautiful. Shaping your new future with less pain from the past can only be done, once you start making new choices. When you explore a new road, when you take new steps. Taking small steps day by day.
We need to remember we grow wiser from the bad experiences and at the end of the day we will be rewarded for the good we do.
Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate it.
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See you next time!
