Cy-Hawk Pregame Preview: Republicans Miss Middle Class Goalposts Wide Right

While there looks to be too many men on the field, 2016 GOPers Pull Their Policies from Same Failed Playbook of the Past

Most Iowans will take a definitive side in today’s annual Cy-Hawk clash. Fortunately, there’s no real reason to choose between the Republicans attending today’s game — Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Donald Trump, Scott Walker — since they all pull their policies from the same failed, anti-middle class playbook of the past.

“No matter who you’re rooting for, all of the Republican candidates miss the middle class’ goalposts to the wide right, and that means Iowa’s families come out a loser,” said IDP Communication Director and Senior Football Analyst Sam Lau. “From Paul to Trump, and from Rubio to Walker, the plays the Republicans have drawn up give the wealthy few a tactical advantage while deflating efforts to support college students, women’s health care, and working families. Just like the dropkick, the GOP’s policies should be left in the past.”

The Iowa Democratic Party has taken the liberty of reviewing old game tape of the candidates, and we prepared the below preview for those watching at home:

GOP Policies Sack Middle Class Families for a Loss:

Penalty: GOP Called for Interference on Women’s Health Care

• Trump would shut down the government over Planned Parenthood funding

• Walker signed a budget defunding women’s health clinics

• Rubio doesn’t believe in exceptions for incest or rape

• Paul opposes a woman’s right to choose

GOP Blocks Attempts to Make College More Affordable

• Rubio: Opposed plans to let students refinance their loans

• Walker: Cut funding to UW by $500 million

• Paul: Voted to cut Pell Grants to 2008 levels

• Trump: Supports cutting the Department of Education

GOP Fumbles the Ball on Civil Rights

• Trump: Opposes marriage equality

• Walker: Passed restrictive voting laws

• Paul: Doesn’t believe in LGBT rights “based on your behavior”

• Rubio: Opposes the Employment Nondiscrimination Act

In summary, the GOP’s plans for working Iowa families are akin to getting hit in the face with a football:

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