So how old are you? 25? 35? 55?
Here is a question: Did you make it to this day asking any of the following to yourself: Who am I? What am I doing here in this place called Earth? Actually, why the heck did I come here? How did I end up here? How does ‘it’ work? Why am I ‘built’ like this?
Some say you need to go into an existential crisis or some crisis of some sort to wonder about these million $ questions. I must partially agree.
These challenging and subjective questions pointing its fingers directly at you are not a walk in the park. But some of us are born with an unquenchable thirst of curiosity to understand more. To dig deeper. Or at least try our hand to make more sense to it.
But the tricky part is, once you begin questioning, it’s all a kinetic downhill from there. You realize it’s a rabbit hole, and there is no end point in sight. A question pops up and gives birth to another, and then another one gives birth to another, and so on. The reality is you can’t undo the red pill. You can’t unhear and unsee whatever that has come your way...
Maybe you’ll get re-sedated back thanks to the millions of daily stimuli around you that is responsible for keeping you ‘sleeping’.
And yes, most will get sidetracked with the burden of self-introspection, effort and energy required during this process. Family, kids, bills, and other daily tasks which I would like to call mere ‘chosen distractions’ usually halt the process, too.
Some go in on this ‘search’ mode with some pitstops along the way knowing it’s an endless journey. Some fully dedicate their lives to it and some continue following the white rabbit with some breaks along the way. The thing with this ‘search’ is it requires dedication. It’s not for the fainthearted. It’s not for the close-minded, confirming lazy. It’s a personal, groundbreaking, courageous act to unlearn the learned, to hack your own ‘given’ sourcecode. As Thoreau puts it:
Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves.
I am aware I possessed this unquenchable thirst in me since my early years. I remember one of the teachers told my mom during one of those ‘student feedback meetings’ that I was:
-asking too many questions (!)
-and sometimes was misleading the topic with my ‘out of topic’ questions and ‘interrupted’ the flow of discussions...
Well, I will leave the topic of how I see the standard educational system that we’ve been put through from kindergarten till college is mostly a waste of time and skills to another post but this little snapshot gives you an idea of how ‘asking too many or sometimes seemingly ‘irrelevant’ questions’ is seen as something to repair in our default world. What good is a “school” if that teaches us to ask less and relevant questions!?
For those with the thirst, their intention is obvious and their curiosity is going to be their fuel. They are yearning to understand and make more sense of it all, just to relieve the thirst a bit more. Once this intention is set, as with every other intention, universe works in this way where it brings you more opportunities or chances for you to quench your thirst. Your salvation depends on you.
You will need to be blind to resist or miss these signs. And don’t think these signs will come to you in white envelopes, like spiritual whispers in your ears or billboards speaking at you with your name on it. (while these may very well happen regardless)
It will be the books you are given, the conversations you find yourself in, a specific quote in a song that hijacks your attention, something a friend says, people that come into your life, a clever ad you see, a mail you get… Journey literally starts paving the way for you if you wish to go down the path.
While this following the white rabbit, red-pill or whatever-you-would-like-to-call-it has many subtopics; I will go into more details and write about relevant themes I get excited about the most with personal ramblings and thoughts on further on this page.
So when I say intention paves the way to more chances to get to the ‘revelations’, I will share a personal anecdote how I improvised my own floating meditation without being aware that it was actually a thing:
It was probably during my early teenage years at a summer vacation along the Southern Turkish Riviera, one night I got the urge to jump in the sea. It’s midnight, just us parked with our sailboat along that large bay so it’s pitch-black where sky is shining with hundreds of stars and galaxies visible. I was pulled into this position where I laid myself free on the water with my hands and legs open, just floating above the sea. Picture this in your mind.
After 30 seconds or so, it started getting scary (which is termed as sensory deprivation). I as a body floating in the middle of a pitch-black open sea at the edge of a bay with no sound and light; facing a vast big dark clear sky with thousands of shining lights. I forced myself into all the sensations and thoughts that was leaking.
Then I started zooming myself out, kind of like a God’s eye view, inch by inch, looking at my body from above. Then I started zooming out even further to see Planet Earth from a distance and there I was: A tiny little abysmally miniature creature point floating above the sea then I zoomed out a bit more till I got lost to contemplate the space I filled in our Milky Way, leave alone the Universe. I still remember the sensations and thoughts during that ‘session’ and it still buzzes me.
Years and years later, in New York, I come across this new meditation trend going around town called ‘sensory deprivation tanks’. I realize what I improvised doing back that summer on my own was actually what these sensory deprivation/isolation tanks do : restricted environmental stimulation therapy (REST). So when you get into these float tanks to have a ‘floating meditation’ they actually help you to get into that headspace by creating a similar set and setting. Sensory deprivation tank therapy is also said to produce several effects on the brain, ranging from hallucinations to enhanced creativity. It is also said that short-term sessions of sensory deprivation are described as relaxing and conducive to meditation; however, extended or forced sensory deprivation can result in extreme anxiety, hallucinations, bizarre thoughts, temporary senselessness, and depression.
