Hong Kong: A Pre-Departure Memo

At the end of the fall 2017 semester, after delivering a khutbah (an Islamic sermon given during Muslims’ regular Friday prayers) at Vanderbilt, I was chatting with a friend when one of the older gentlemen who had attended the prayer approached us.

He seemed to know my friend fairly well, and began asking us casual questions about our winter breaks and when we’d be returning to campus for the spring semester. When I told him I wouldn’t be back on campus this spring, and I’d actually be studying abroad in Hong Kong, he was confused despite my efforts at an explanation.

Among his questions, one in particular stood out:

Why would you want to go abroad when you have everything you could possibly dream of right here?

It’s a good question. Hell, it’s a great question.

Being a first-generation American, I’ve made efforts to truly understand my parents’ plights that allowed me to get where I am, and much of what I’ve accomplished thus far has only been possible because of the society in which I live. What else could I want?

I made efforts to answer his question, genuinely citing a sense of burnout at Vanderbilt and the desire to travel, but the only answer I could come up with that seemed to convince him was,

It’s significantly cheaper than attending Vandy for a semester.

This isn’t untrue. This semester will be a lot cheaper than most, but thanks to Vanderbilt’s generous financial aid — for which I’ll forever be grateful — that’s never been a concern of mine, so I can’t say I was entirely sincere with him. To keep the conversation from turning into an awkward interrogation, though, I had to offer him something concrete — like a dollar sign.

One evening this past semester, I found myself pacing in my dorm room, thinking out loud and really focusing on why committing to the exchange program to which I’d been accepted was the best decision to make. The prospect of living in an entirely new place — let alone one halfway around the world — was terrifying.

I tend to write things down, and this evening was no exception. I took a few notes to make my feelings tangible and preserve them for later reference. Looking back at these notes, one statement on the page stands out.

A scan from my notebook.

Take the fucking leap.

Though I don’t recall exactly where in my thought process this arose, I imagine it was my final assessment of the situation made after a significant amount of musing and self-convincing.

At the time, I also reflected upon the idea that decisions can be considered either selfish or selfless; they benefit either the decision maker or those within the decision maker’s sphere of influence. I don’t think the world is as black-and-white as this, but the notion serves its purpose of approximately sorting through and understanding the motives behind the decisions I make.

Throughout my university career, I’ve focused a lot on a few causes about which I’m particularly passionate; the foremost of my endeavors is working to strengthen Vanderbilt University’s technology community. I’ve spent most of my college career doing everything I can to help cultivate a thriving community. I sincerely hope I’ve played a role in doing so, and I’m immensely grateful for the opportunities to give back that I have had.

That being said, I’m not sure I’ve had a moment to breathe in between my normal responsibilities.

The most important reasons for which I’ve chosen Hong Kong to be the setting for my life’s next adventure isn’t as concrete as the allure of travel, the financial figures I described to the gentleman I met after my last khutbah of 2017, or even the opportunity to purchase fake Gucci and Yeezy.

Ultimately, this is a decision I made for myself. It’s a decision that will hopefully allow me to perform a mental and emotional reset, face unique challenges that I haven’t tackled before, and to gain new perspectives that I can’t find in the United States.

Most importantly, I’ve made this decision with the purpose of bettering myself so, when I return to the communities for which I care so deeply, I can create even greater impact moving forward.

The opportunity to travel somewhere totally unknown is well out of my comfort zone, and the very prospect is absolutely terrifying. At the same time, the chance to make this journey is incredibly humbling.

I hope that totally dislocating myself from the comforts of my life forces me to take a step back, breathe, and ground myself. I also hope it lends me some understanding of the social, economic, and cultural hurdles my parents have faced in their lives; I haven’t a clue the true challenges they faced coming to the United States in 1984, and I don’t think I ever will. Trying to emulate at least a small fraction of their experience is a start.

At the end of my four months in Hong Kong, I’ll return to the United States, briefly recover from jetlag, and travel to the eastern seaboard to begin my summer internship at Capital One. I’ll be returning to an incredibly blessed, fortunate, and even privileged lifestyle, along with copious amounts of comfort and familiarity.

For these four months, however, I hope to strip these amenities away from myself — at least within reason — and push myself to learn what I don’t already know. I plan to engage with Hong Kong locals and understand their perspectives in order to build bridges between a totally foreign culture and my own; in the process, I hope to strengthen my character and discover what my own values truly are.

I never particularly desired to fall victim to the cliché of “going abroad to find myself,” but maybe I have at this point — and I’m okay with that.

Ultimately, I’m passionate about becoming — what I hope to be — a grounded individual. With this territory comes the need for perspective, and I’m not certain the elitism, prestige, and wealth at Vanderbilt are helping me accomplish this. I’m incredibly grateful to attend such a distinguished institution with extraordinary financial support, but my personal growth and discovery appear to be plateauing. I hope that my experiences abroad challenge this plateau and inspire new growth in ways I may not have previously seen.

Come August, I’ll excitedly return to campus for my senior year at Vanderbilt. For now, however, I’m enthusiastic about the chance to jump over some new hurdles, explore new perspectives, and, of course, have some fun while I’m at it.

For most of my college career, my purpose has always felt natural: to strengthen my communities and empower those around me. Now that I’ll be taking a brief hiatus from my mission, I’ve decided that the purpose of my efforts in Hong Kong is to better myself in ways that enable me to return to my communities and create even stronger impact than I’ve been able to make thus far.

In order to fulfill this purpose of my semester abroad, I’ve listed my priorities and set some preliminary goals related to each priority.

As a general principle, I like to define my priorities — the most important parts of my life — before setting goals that are motivated by said priorities. Some of my goals are easily quantified, but others are a bit more qualitative, and their completion will be judged via introspection rather than number crunching.

While my major priorities can be found below, I do want to add that staying in touch is something I consider especially important and am prepared to do. My friends, family, and trusted professors and mentors at Vanderbilt will all be updated about my adventures abroad. Additionally, I intend to transition into a senior advisory role for the VandyHacks organization after serving as one of its Presidents this past year. Though I won’t be physically present for my family, friends, or communities this semester, I will still be available and intend to fulfill my responsibilities towards them all to my utmost ability.

Without further adieu, here’s what I’ll be focusing on during my time abroad.

1. Islam

Having grown up Muslim, Islam is a significant component of my life. I do worry that my faith and relationship with God will be challenged during my time in Hong Kong; to counteract this, I hope to use that relationship to ease me through any hardships I might face. My specific goals related to Islam are:

• Make at least three (3) Muslim friends in Hong Kong
• Keep up with my five (5) daily prayers

2. Career Development

My career development as a software engineer is largely driven by my projects, my involvement in the hacker community, and my academics. In Hong Kong, I’ll be attending the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, a well-renowned institution with a fantastic array of course options that I can’t even find at Vanderbilt. My goals to further develop my career and professional portfolio while abroad are:

• Earn at least a 3.5 GPA this semester
• Complete two (2) side projects
• Attend and hack in at least one (1) hackathon

3. Fitness

Fitness is something I’ve grown incredibly passionate about over the last year. Without fail, the iron has always been my means of therapy when times get tough. Being abroad does nothing to change this, so my fitness goals for the semester are:

• Work out at least five (5) times per week
• Three (3) days of compound and isolation lifts
• Two (2) days of conditioning and core work

Do note that I didn’t list any particularly specific goals with regards to bodybuilding or powerlifting progress. This is because things happen; injuries and illness are unpredictable, so I currently try not to set overly specific goals with deadlines. My goals also change reasonably often. As I kick the semester off, however, I intend to continue my winter bulk and focus on strength, hypertrophy, and overall fitness and athleticism.

4. Personal Growth and Discovery

Personal growth and discovery will be huge components of my time in Hong Kong and are critical to returning home a better, more aware person. Unfortunately, these are the most difficult to measure of my goals, and my success will be determined via introspection more than anything. I do plan to continue writing, however, and this should aid the process of fleshing out my thoughts. In Hong Kong, I hope to:

• Develop humility and find grounding by studying local culture and perspectives
• Grow more mature and exercise adaptability to change
• Have at least five (5) meaningful conversations with locals about their perspectives and values, making efforts to consider them and incorporate them into my own life if appropriate

5. Cultural Exploration

Naturally, being in Asia provides me the opportunity to learn about and understand different cultures and their people. I’d also like to take the time to document and share what I find; I’m a hobbyist photographer, and my Canon Rebel T5 will be coming with me on this journey. Like I mentioned earlier, I’ll also still be writing and sharing a bit of what I find. My goals with regards to cultural exploration during these next four months are:

• Build basic proficiency in the Chinese language (I’ll be taking an introductory Putonghua course at HKUST)
• Visit three (3) countries other than Hong Kong (my shortlist currently includes Japan, Thailand, and Vietnam)
• Make at least twelve (12) friends from cultural backgrounds different than my own
• Make at least six (6) photography albums during my travels and share the best photos from each album on my Instagram account

If I’m being entirely honest with myself, I haven’t felt as nervous as I have this week prior to departure in quite a long time.

One of my greatest challenges in traveling and moving around as much as I have in the last few years has been culture shock. When I find myself alone, the shock is somehow worse — panic ensues, a sense of unfamiliarity dawns upon me, and I long for home. During brief trips lasting from one to three days, I’m typically fine. The long-term stays, however, prove to be unbelievably daunting.

In the days leading up to my flight to Hong Kong, however, I’ve found my nervousness fading and excitement taking over.

Much of this is attributed to something I never expected to hear from my father:

Well, with your confidence, I’m sure you’ll be just fine.

My father has never been particularly affectionate either physically or verbally, so this brief conversation certainly caught me off guard. The more I thought about what he said, however, the more empowered I felt.

Pre-departure nerves are, according to all the literature I’ve studied, natural and normal. At this point, however, I feel my normal confidence beginning to kick in — confidence that I’ll meet wonderful people, find my groove, and do everything I can to fulfill my purpose during this experience.

I’m excited, grateful, and humbled to have the opportunity to travel nearly eight thousand miles from home and experience both the good and the bad that come my way this spring. I’m certain the next few weeks will be a flurry of emotions: nervousness, excitement, homesickness, reflection, and everything else one feels during major lifestyle changes and periods of adaptation.

I still find myself bouncing between excitement and nervousness for my journey. However, I think excitement is winning the race, and I can’t wait to finally take the fucking leap.