Didn’t Anyone Every Tell Him That?
It was 7th grade, my best friend and I decided to go to the girls swim meet to support our friends.
It was after school, I only knew about four other people that were there. It was city finals so we were excited, and ready to support our team wether we came lost or won. I was happy to be there.
Some 2 hours later my stepmom texts me that she’s in the parking lot waiting. So I grab my sweater and backpack, let my friend know I’m leaving and begin to head up the bleachers.
I seen him and one of my friends from my classes. I roll my eyes, knowing him as that annoying kid that always picks on girls and makes stupid jokes.
When I get to the top I turn around to shout to my friend if she needs a ride home. I stop and before I can even get any words out and i feel someone grope my butt. I turn around to find him laughing with his friends.
“Keep it tight”
He said to me.
I was shocked and angry all at once and I wanted to do something to show him I wasn’t weak, that he would regret doing that. But all I could function to do was take out my sweater and hit him across the face. I angrily left the pool area and began walking off. Immediately I felt more frustrated with myself than I was with him, anytime I had every acted out a situation like that in my head I had defended myself. I wanted a do-over.
Secondly, I didn’t understand why my friend didn’t stick up for me. I didn’t get at the time that most middle school boys usally don’t question their friends and what they do, when that’s all that my friends and I did.
And then I felt the worst feeling out of all this, I believed it was my fault. As so many girls do when it comes to sexual assault, I told myself that I was standing to close or that my jeans were too tight, i thought that’s why my “friend” didn’t stick up for me.
You’ve got to understand that before this I had experienced cat calls and been told i do something “like a girl” because in today’s society it’s just not acceptable, but I had never had someone put their hands on me. I didn’t know so many things at the time, I didn’t even get at the time that things like this happen to woman every day, I didn’t know about the wage gap, I didn’t know that many people like to believe that one of the causes of rape were clothing choice, or that there was a such thing as pro life and pro choice.
So when I mustered up the courage to finally tell my teacher about the incident she sent me to the office to fill out a report about what happened and I spoke to the assistant principal. She told me that she would handle the situation, and that he would receive a week long suspension.
I waited a week until I realized that he wasn’t gone a day. By then i knew it wasn’t my fault and he deserved punishment for his actions. I think it was my friends support that changed what I thought about what had happened. Yeah but he haven’t been absent for one day. So I waited for the next week and he still was there, and the next week. Still there. There were people that asked me if I told on him, I just made up some excuse to explain why I had to tell.
But anyways nothing ever happened and he got away with all the sexist jokes he told us and any other girls that were to afraid to go and talk to someone because of what people would tell them.
I guess that’s just how things go sometimes.