{99} Writing a sloppy mess
KimBoo York

I haven’t even attempted to write a story, of any length or kind, in… 15 years? I was so disheartened and completely defeated by the feedback on my last attempt.

But I am naturally a writer. Out of practice, and out of sync, certainly. But a writer nonetheless. I don’t try; in point of fact I have spent the majority of the past decade trying to stop the plot bunnies breeding freely in my mind and pointedly ignoring the urge to write.

I’m like you, though, in the fact that I never write “properly”. An outline? A plot? Who the Hel actually does that?

I just … start writing. It doesn’t matter what I am trying to write. Essays, poems, blog posts, and stories all start the same way.

I need inspiration to get started; but this rarely takes the form of words for me. I don’t even get character names or titles! I simply have a feeling or an idea that niggles and won’t shake loose. Something so strong, that rings so true inside me that I simply have to find a way to put it into words.

Once I start, I can’t stop until it’s done. I don’t think, I don’t edit, it just comes out.

The problem I have had so long now is simply getting past my own stress and anxiety to get to the sitting and starting.

There is a story niggling away up there. It has been for quite some time. I’ve spent enough time cringing in the shadows of the critizing opinions of people I knew so long ago. It needs to come out; I am just going to have to create the time and place to sit and start writing.

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