Importance of self-validation. 5 ways to practice it.
As human beings, we love approval.
We love validation.
We love positive feedback.
And we deeply care about what people think about us.
Well, seeking external validation is normal, as it helps us see ourselves in a more positive light and reminds us that we can achieve great things, especially if we’re struggling with self-doubt or low self-esteem.
However, seeking external validation to the extent that it becomes a replacement for self-validation and the only source of motivation is not a healthy habit.
Seeking too much external validation can be damaging to our mental health as well as our relationships.
One of the best ways to correct this is to learn self-validation, where we accept and validate our feelings, thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences.
Importance of self-validation
Self-validation is important for our well-being, as by accepting and validating ourselves, we acknowledge our worth and value independently of others’ opinions.
This leads to a strong sense of self-belief and resilience, even in the face of criticism or rejection. When you know how to self-validate, you get the upper hand in all situations where you deal with self-doubt and feel like an imposter.
It makes you resilient enough to deal with situations when you feel unloved and inadequate. Self-validation is not a tough code to crack.
There are many things you can do in your day-to-day life to learn about it. Some of the ways are discussed here:
Ways to practice self-validation
Accept all your feelings and try to observe what you need.
To validate your feelings, thoughts, and internal experiences, it is crucial to first accept all our feelings, good and bad. This is the first and major step in practising self-validation.
Accept and acknowledge your feelings; if they are negative, do not justify them, but do not dismiss them either.
To truly accept your feelings, you need to notice what you need. If there is a difficult feeling that you can’t easily acknowledge, like anger, then ask yourself what you need to make yourself better.
Do you need some time alone, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to, or comfort food to have? Whatever you need, give yourself that without any judgment.
Keep a journal where you can note down your strengths and your successes.
One of the ways to practice self-validation is to keep a diary or journal where you record all your strengths and moments of success.
This journal can work as a reminder list whenever you feel inadequate or low in confidence.
Whenever your confidence is low, you can refer to this list. Even if you do not write them down, try to think about the moments when you did something great and use them to deal with failure and criticism.
Try to be honest with yourself.
To practice self-validation, you need to be honest with yourself. If you keep denying what you think and who you are, then it will be extremely hard to validate what you feel.
Remember, your self-worth shouldn’t be built on trying to be as flawless as possible; it should be about accepting the person you are.
Do self-care to remind yourself that you deserve those things.
Self-care is another great way to practice self-validation. By caring for yourself and prioritizing your needs, you can validate yourself. There are many things you can do on a daily basis.
From eating well to doing things that make you happy, everything counts in building the foundation of self-validation.
Be a good friend to yourself; give yourself the love you didn’t get.
Last but not least, treat yourself like a good friend of yours. Talk to yourself like you would to a good friend; encourage yourself just like that; and see the change in how you validate your feelings.
Tell yourself the supportive things you’d tell a friend without a second thought, and give yourself the love you’ve always needed from others.
Remember that to practice self-validation, you need to be kind to yourself and normalize both your good and bad feelings.
We at ItsOk are trying to help people who need assistance with mental health issues. If you are going through any mental health problem, then we would love to provide a helping hand to make things better for you.
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