8:45 A.M. from Houston

Photo: Craig T. Lee — air bound

East to South, my travels bound me to move nomadically through an ever-shifting world. Although it was a vacation, my mind continued to work. I focused my attention on very key mental strategies to enhance my growth as a man: understanding what makes humans suffer, bitterness and the ego.

Suffering is broken down into three parts: expectations, attachment to current identity and mistaking temporary joy for more sustainable bliss. I’ve been mentally suffering for over a decade now and I’m JUST figuring out why. I didn’t figure it out for myself, I figured out for myself and for others. My friendships, relationship, workplace, business ventures; internally resolving issues in order to externally capitalize.

I’d like to say that I’m not truly a bitter person, but there are instances and situations where I can taste the bitterness in my mouth. I haven’t found a way to rid the bitterness, but I am accepting of it. Let’s just say, Father’s Day was interesting from an emotional standpoint.

The ego will break you down quicker than your heart. I am one of billions of humans that breathe this air I breathe. It’s not about me and it’s not about you — rather about us and selflessness. When my ego lowers, my vibration rises. Dropping my ego in many circumstances has led me to become more silent and less reliant. Confusing ego attachment with love, hate or any type of emotion is dangerous and an unfair game.

As I sit in my window seat on the plane, I checkpoint myself. It was August of 2016 the last time I traveled from Houston to D.C. and back. I was getting organized and my ambition was flawless. Flawless indeed, but no clear path to where it would lead me. Freelance sports and music writer. I wrote everyday, but didn’t connect well with my audience. In a sense, I felt like one of those great musicians that make great music but the music doesn’t truly stand for much of anything. Now I stand for something and it’s bigger than me. I’ll be back soon for another update.

I accept all of this. I’ll never be flawless. Continuing to draw this conclusion that will arrive on God’s times. My belief in divinity is infinity. A lot of lessons have gotten into me.

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