Self-Care
Dear Friend,
The work we do around sexual assault prevention and awareness can be heavy and even bring up past experiences. We are reading material, hearing stories, and creating programming for a topic that can weigh heavily on the heart and on the mind as student leaders. This is why self-care is so crucial when doing this work. While it is difficult to balance school life, extracurriculars, work, homework, and everything else you are involved in, it is crucial to take a step back and practice taking care of your body and of your mind. Unfortunately none of us are superheroes and after a while, even if it takes years, we will get tired and no longer are able to give the work the same amount of effort. Without active self-care, this work could even negatively impact our daily lives, including our schoolwork, relationships with our peers and personal lives.
As two students who have been doing work with It’s On Us for three years now, we recognize that finding time and space to practice active self-care is really tough. Along with the trouble of finding time, the practice of self-care has become so glamourized that it can be difficult to relate to. For example, some people may find a bubble bath to be their form of self-care, while others may like to create a financial budget for the month. Self-care is a practice for yourself and therefore is different for everyone, which often is not portrayed in the media.
From Alma Baker, Region 3 Advisor, It’s On Us
When I first started It’s On Us work I thought that I had endless energy and could fight against sexual violence every hour of every day, but over time I learned this was not the case. No one really told me about self-care and it was hard for me to recognize at first that I needed to take breaks and practice self-care in order to keep enjoying this work. So, I started slow by deciding to get more than 8 hours of sleep per night, eat healthy and exercising regularly. That wasn’t enough though and I still kept feeling overwhelmed and like everything was wrong in the world. When people talked about different self-care activities like watching TV, painting their nails, writing down positive things from their day, I never related to them and felt distant from the word self-care. Until I read the article: This Is What ‘Self-Care’ REALLY Means, Because It’s Not All Salt Baths And Chocolate Cake over the summer. It talks about the concept of how self-care should be creating a budget for yourself, cleaning or doing something productive. The article inspired me to think about how self-care is really what you make it, but that it is okay if it is hard and not always something comfortable. It is about creating wellness and not just momentarily, but for the long-term. If we are being honest, especially as college students paying the bills and getting a meal into our stomachs sometimes comes before self-care. What I remind myself when life gets too busy is that I won’t be sustainable and I won’t be able to do any good in the world if I work myself too hard and don’t start bringing wellness into my life. So a few months ago I decided to walk away from two different roles because I needed less on my plate. I now have set some goals. My short-term goals are having multiple things I rely on as my self-care. Sometimes some TV does help, other times it is going for a ten minute run outside, shutting off all technology while eating a comforting meal, or even taking a 10 minute nap. Other days it’s 4 count breathing, and yet others it’s being social. What I have found important is knowing myself and what type of break I am needing in the moment and meeting my needs before I get too overwhelmed. My long-term goals are to build these habits among others into a more balanced place of wellbeing.
From Carly Dryden, Greek Life Regional Advisor, It’s On Us
Throughout my time working with It’s On Us, I have felt how rewarding and important this work is, but I have also felt how draining and emotionally exhausting it can be. There are days when the drive to create new programming, to reach out to other organizations on campus, and to send a million emails is going about 100 miles per hour, but there are also days when I can’t even think about hosting another event or having another email update about Title IX. This is when I know that I need to take a moment and take a break: when the work that I love becomes just a bit too heavy for my heart, it is time to do something for me and not for the cause that I love to work so hard for. I am a big believer that self-care is different for every single person. Some people like to get their nails done, they like to drink a milkshake, or take a nice long nap after a long week. I am someone that loves to go for long drives and listen to music and have the occasional car concert. I also love to read a book for fun (what a concept!) or write and draw all the overwhelming thoughts I am having just to get them off of my chest into a different space than my headspace. Adding self-care may not always be the easiest thing to do; there are simple ways that we as leaders can add it in to our lives to ensure that we are at our best so we can encourage others to be at theirs.
What are some ways that you perform self-care? Share some of your favorite routines and habits here!
Or, take this self-assessment to see what kind of self-care works best for you and things that you can focus on to put more self-care in your daily routine.
Sincerely,
Alma Baker and Carly Dryden
Regional Advisors
It’s On Us
